My pal Lulu made reference to a classic Mama Gin story about the time she tried to feed my cat, the dearly departed Betty. Mama Gin & Betty, having lived in the same house for seven years, enjoyed a fear-hate relationship. (Mama Gin both feared & hated Betty, whereas Betty merely feared Mama Gin.)
The first time Mama Gin ever caught sight of Betty, she came down to the apartment and told George "be sure to tie that cat up at night."
"Why?" George responded.
"Because, if you go to bed with a little piece of food stuck on your face, the cat will wait until you're asleep, and then jump on the bed to try to eat the food and she'll bite your face off."
When George translated this for me, I wasn't sure what to be more disturbed by - the fact that she was so afraid of the cat, or that she thought it was normal behavior to go to bed with food stuck on your face.
Then she suggested that we tie Betty up in the back yard so that she could catch wild birds for us to eat. (Mama Gin is obsessed with eating food caught in the wild, even if the "wild" is a back yard in Brooklyn.)
But my favorite Mama Gin + Betty story is the one Lulu made reference to.
One lovely spring day, George and I decided to have a little outing to the botanical gardens or someplace like that. We left the house around 11:00 am, and returned late afternoon. In other words, we weren't even gone as long as we would be on a normal work day.
For some reason (an appropriate opener of any sentence that discusses the philosophies and motives of Mama Gin) she thought we had packed up and left for good, leaving the cat behind. Yes, it's insane, but that's what she thought. So, figuring that we were gone for good, Mama Gin found enough kindness in her heart to come down to our apartment to "rescue" the poor cat by feeding her.
Mama figured Betty would enjoy a nice, huge deep-dish pie plate of pork chunks covered in milk.
That's right - pork and milk. In huge chunks as big as an adult human's fist. Good thing Betty didn't keep kosher.
Needless to say, Betty did not touch the pork and milk platter.
Another time we came back from a weekend away, when we had left Betty at home alone for about a day and a half. We did this now and again, and Betty was generally fine with a big dish of dry food and a nice bowl of water to tide her over.
I walked in the door & found Betty yowling and quite agitated. I figured she was hungry, so I approached her food bowl and found it completely covered by six whole slices of Wonder Bread. Betty couldn't get to her food because it was covered in Wonder Bread.
George went upstairs and instructed Mama Gin never to come down again.