Monday, June 26, 2006

The Mama Gin Files Chapter 7: Answering Machine

Mama Gin doesn't understand that the answering machine is an inanimate object. When she dials a phone number and hears a human voice on the other end, she assumes it is the voice of a live person who is actually listening to her.

This leads to considerable consternation when she realizes the "person" is not, in fact, listening. It is not often that she comes to such realizations, however, because she generally doesn't pay enough attention to other people to notice whether they are listening or not. So it's usually not a problem.

But one night we came home to see, on our call waiting list, that she had called approximately 37 times in a row. Since it was my voice on the outgoing answering machine greeting, I was treated to the following message from Mama Gin:

"Tom! How come you, all the time, answer the phone? Georgie not answer the phone. It not belong to, to him? I no like that! You, and Georgie, move out!"

It was ever so charming of her to call me.

To get her back for her nastiness, I made a tape of her message and recorded IT as our outgoing greeting. The next time she called, she was treated to the grating sound of her own high pitched voice screaming at me. She stopped calling after that.

One day I will see if I can make a digital recording of the message, and I will play it for you here.


Dale said...

Devious and brilliant.

I had to type You, and Georgie, move out! 37 times as a word verification.

jin said...

Seriously GREAT move!!!

So, I have to ask, does George agree with your feelings/descriptions of Mama Gin?

Coaster Punchman said...

Mama Gin sneaking into my word verification is exactly the kind of shit she pulls.

And yes, George is on board with the Mama Gin bashing. I believe in one of my previous entries George wrote a comment comparing her mothering skills to those of a foie gras farmer. I tell you, she's a scary lady.

Melinda June said...

I saved that message on my voicemail at work, and used to play it when I had a bad day. Glad you've still got a copy of it.

Unfortunate child of the MG said...

There's nothing like the real ting, baaaabyyyy....

I don't believe in therapy because there is no way I could ever afford what it would take to untangle the mess she made me into, so I've committed myself to believing that I was one of those bad babies that the Chinese give away to unsuspecting Americans.

Tenacious S said...

Ummmmm, slacking.......