This is our cat, Betty. She was never my girlfriend.
Faithful readers of The Mama Gin Files already know about Mama Gin’s obsession with George finding a girlfriend and getting married.
Occasionally, her obsession comes to visit me as well, and she harangues me about not being married. The only reason she cares about this is that my finding a girlfriend and getting married would get me out of the way, enabling her to marry George off. But I allow myself to feel cared about, anyway.
One day when I was home alone, Mama Gin came down for a visit.
“Tom, I want talk to you. You should get marry.”
“Well, thank you for your concern, but I don't want to get married. I’m happy living here with George.”
“But you have gurlfriend! You marry her.”
“Excuse me, but I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Yes, you have gurlfriend. I see. You write to her.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“You write her postcard. I see it. It say ‘Betty.’ B-E-T-T-Y. Betty.”
George and I like to send postcards when we travel. During our trip to Europe in 2003, we sent one to our cat, Betty, because we thought it would be funny. Apparently, Mama Gin didn’t share in our sense of humor.
“Betty is our cat, Mama Gin. ”
“A cat. Betty is a cat. She's not my girlfriend, she's a cat. We sent her the card as a joke.”
“Wha? No gurlfriend? Nooooo! Why you send card to cat?”
“We were just playing around. We thought it would be funny.”
“Cat can’t read card!”
“I told you, it was just a joke.”
“No, no good, no good. You get marry.” She continued to shake her head slowly as she trudged back up the stairs.
We still miss Betty for many reasons, one of them being her ability to torment Mama Gin in so many ways.
I am Coaster Punchman and you have just entered my world. I rule it with an iron fist, so if you're looking for First Amendment protection, you will not find it here. I have a now deceased crazy Chinese mother-in-law, and sometimes I wear Crocs around the house. I don't like flip-flops or Mormons. I'm also a cyberstalker by trade -- so I could look up all sorts of random shit about you if I wanted, but I probably won't because I'm pretty lazy.