Thursday, December 28, 2006

Mama Gin Files: The Comeback

The Mama Gin files are back by popular demand! We now have a new camera with which to chronicle more carefully the comings and goings of the world's zaniest mother-in-law.

For those Gentle Readers who are relatively new to CPW, Mama Gin is my OCD-suffering Chinese mother-in-law who is 100% obsessed with Georgie get marry have baby. She visits us in our apartment at least three or four days every week, with approximately thirty-seven visits per day, so that she can tell us the exact same things, over and over and over.

Tonight's visits started while we were at the dinner table. Having failed to lock the door as per our usual custom, Mama Gin sauntered in during our salad course and began her usual grilling of Poor George.

Enjoy the following pictorial retelling of our evening with Mama Gin.

We are enjoying our dinner while watching television from across the room, when suddenly, the living room door opens.

Behold, it's Mama Gin! She's come to inquire (again) as to whether Georgie has gurlfriend. George takes another gulp of his Long Island Iced Tea and braces himself.

"Georgie, you have gurlfriend?"

"Tom, make her a plate Jin's cookies. Maybe that will shut her up."

Mama Gin accepts the cookies.

But she does not leave.

George is not amused.

George leaves the table.

He exits the room in a huff and slams the door behind him.

"Why Georgie not talk to me?" Mama Gin inquires.

Mama Gin retreats to her quarters.

Fast forward nine minutes. Insert Jaws music as Mama Gin once again approaches our door.

"Georgie, you get MARRY! Then you wifey sleeping my apartment! Tom stay here!"

George begins yelling, Long Island still in hand.

The yelling is not an issue for Mama Gin, as she is mostly deaf. She sits herself down to continue her lecturing.

Stay tuned for a special video installment of Tha Mama Gin Files, coming soon, in a new episode entitled "Tom! You marry Becky!"

(Becky is George's niece.)


Bubs said...

Oh wow. That is intense. You need to get her on YouTube. I want to hear her voice...since I don't live there and don't have to deal with her in real life.

You have remarkable aplomb, the way you handle that situation.

Anonymous said...

That's the Christmas tree I wanted when I was stuck with stupid real trees as a child! I can't wait for the video installment as the tension is there even with photographs. Nice place!

Beth said...

Santa did come -- and he brought us more Mama Gin! I'm so happy right now.

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm working on the video, Bubs. I hope to have it up later today - they take a while to download to Google.

Dale, I adore that Christmas tree. It's a Martha Stewart Snowbird Mountain Tree featuring Winter White Branches! I like real trees too, but they are a pain in the ass - this one is really easy. One day when I have a larger house I will keep this one in the family room and put up a real one in the living room.

Beth, Ho! Ho! Ho!

Anonymous said...

love the camera one. maybe a video cam installed somewhere and you can set up a 24h webcam

wonderturtle said...

Oh man.

Anonymous said...

24 hour webcam...CP what would you do if you found her standing over george while he slept, shaking her head? CHILLS!!!

katie schwartz said...


Coaster Punchman said...

Dino, webcam... there's an idea...

Wonderturtle, Amen!

Hapabukbuk, she has done things just about that creepy. I'll get all the tales out before I'm done with this series.

Katie, if you like that check out the archives for all the Mama Gin files - you can search the blog with "Mama Gin."

jin said...

The cookies didn't work!?
Maybe she was holding out for a petit four!

GREAT documentation! I called D in here to read through it! We both love the pix where pg puts his hands over his ears!

This is sooo not funny (for you guys...or is it?!) I can't help laughing! :-D

Coaster Punchman said...

For George it's not funny. For me it's, well, survival. I really only laugh when she says something totally outrageous about me, or when she gets Ruby going.

Anonymous said...

I just went back and read the older installments... I'm totally in heaven.

Anonymous said...

I especially like Mama Gin's flip flops. Isn't it COLD there?!

Coaster Punchman said...

Mombi, unfortunately, Mama Gin is not. (Am I going to Hell for saying that?)

Megan, that's only the start of her bizarre wardrobe choices.