Friday, December 29, 2006

The Mama Gin Files: Tom, You Marry Becky!

Mama Gin brought up a recurring theme during last night's visit, namely that I marry her granddaughter, Becky, the youngest child of George's sister Ruby.

Interestingly, at one point in the past Mama Gin had even suggested that George marry Becky, his own niece. That's how desperate she is to get him married off.

After she had chased George out of the room a second time, she began haranguing me about marrying Becky - and I just knew I had to grab the video camera.

Posted for you here is an excerpt from our conversation. For your convenience I will also provide the following transcript.

Mama Gin: It be very good! Becky her father have a housey! Ruby have a housey! Very good!

CP: You want me to marry Becky?

MG: Yah, I likey you get marry Becky!

CP: But that's your granddaughter. Wait, you want me to marry Becky?

MG: Eh?

CP: I should marry Becky?

MG: (referring to the camera) No no, don't don't don't, me too messy!

CP: (lying) No, no, I'm not, I'm just watching.... I just want to see.... you want me to marry Becky?

MG: What you say?!

CP: You want me to marry Becky?

MG: Yah! You get marry Becky!

CP: Ok, bye bye.

MG: Bye bye.


Anonymous said...

Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmm!

Anonymous said...

No words. Well, there are, but... Oh, poor George, poor CP, poor Becky! Your transcription services are excellent by the way. Call Oprah.

Coaster Punchman said...

Old Lady, is this a Campbell's Soup commercial?

Dale, maybe Oprah would take us up as one of her causes. Or maybe if I publish "The Mama Gin Files" she'll put me in her book club. And I won't poo-poo it like that idiot Jonathan Franzen.

Anonymous said...

No Campbell's Soup, southern version of tsk, tsk, tsk.

You and George have earned your place in heaven!

Anonymous said...

oh she sounds just like I thought she would. I hate to tell you but I do not think she'll ever change her mind about you and George. So every potential female will become a potential wife for your or George.

Anonymous said...

Do you need a beard? I hereby offer my services. No, seriously.

Coaster Punchman said...

Old Lady, I hope you're tsk tsk'ing Mama Gin at least!

You said it, Katy. Any female who walks through these doors is fair game. More stories on that to follow.

Bella, if you can produce a baby and tell her it's George's, she'll give you $200. Seriously.

katie schwartz said...

oh sweetie, it's geriatric melrose place. can I move in? please?????

jin said...

Oh! You caught her on video!
My Xmas wish has come TRUE!!!!

BTW...she sounds EXACTLY like I thought & you sound almost exactly like I thought!!!

Happy New Year! :-)

lulu said...

you and george are going to heaven.

And can I be the first to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!?????!!!!!

Coaster Punchman said...

Yeah Katie, Melrose Place without the pretty bodies, raised 10 decibels and translated into piercing Chinese!

Jin, how did you think I'd sound?

Lu, you ARE the first!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I'm in heaven.

Can we set up a paypal account to fund the cameras we'd like to install in your home and the bandwidth to stream live over the internet??

PG said...

Just a reminder to all the CPW readers out there, I am the lost child of Anastasia Beaverhausen and was mistakenly switched at birth, so technically it would not be wrong for me to marry my niece, but I'll be damned if I let my husband!

Anonymous said...

Poor George. I must say that I am in love with Mama Gin though. She would make great entertainment at dinner parties.

jin said...

Happy New Year cp & pg & mg too!!!
Did I hear birthday???

(I think I figured your voice was just a bit deeper than it is...but I was pretty damn close! I was spot on with jewels & mg...I was WAAAY off with katy! lol...I was waaay off with someone else who called me, I guess I'm 3 and 2.)

Anonymous said...

Your ears must've been burning last Friday. Your adventures with Mama Gin were a topic of conversation at our Chicago get-together. How excellent that we have video now of someone that has become a part of blog legend.

Coaster Punchman said...

Mombi, I wonder if I could make enough on that to stop working? If so, I'm in.

George, so where is this Ms. Beaverhausen then? Any chance you might inherit anything?

Jin, a few other people commented to me privately that they thought my voice would be deeper. Wonder why that is. I guess I come off as pretty churlish on this blog. Suits me I guess.

Chris, I was sorry to miss that party. Lu actually called me from it - I should have had her pass the phone around, but it was probably hard to hear in there. At least it is for me - I'm half deaf whenever I walk into a bar or restaurant these days. Would come in handy if I were single and pretty.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of fun at dinner parties, please take a video of MG roaming the backyard asking you to extinguish the tiki torches.

I wish I still had that voicemail of MG telling you not to answer the phone so much. That rocked.

Coaster Punchman said...

Many videos to come if I can help it. I think I have a tape with that message on it, which will make it onto the blog as soon as I find it.

Grant Miller said...

I'm in love with mama gin.

Coaster Punchman said...

And Mama Gin loves you, Grant. Mainly because you got marry have baby.