Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Mama Gin Files: CP can stay in New York with Poor George and his baby!

As any regular reader of The Mama Gin Files knows, Mama Gin is obsessed with Poor George having a baby. At this point she even seems to be dropping the requirement that there be a marriage, so crucial is the idea of procreation to her.

This past weekend we had two visitors from Chicago (or Bangladesh by way of Chicago) - Lulu from the Wonderful Land-0-Lulu, and Lulu's friend Jane. (See the link for a lovely recap of our food-filled weekend.) Whenever Mama Gin even suspects a female may be near the premises, she starts getting ideas.

This time, after Jane and Lulu had left for a few hours to go visit our friend Wonderturtle, Mama Gin came down and asked me which one of Poor George's two girlfriends was going to have George's baby. When I shrugged my shoulders, Mama Gin threw aside any preliminaries and simply asked how many months it would be until the baby was born.

Having learned how frustrating it is to argue with her, I just threw out the number "six." Mama Gin giggled with delight, and launched into a series of directives that I would have the pleasure of listening to anywhere from five to ten times in a row. To the certain delight of you, my Gentle Readers, I caught one of her visits on video.

An approximate transcript is provided below. Enjoy.


Mama Gin: (knock knock)

CP: Come in!

MG: Georgie go out?

CP: Yes, he went out.

MG: I likey Georgie no sell this-a housey, he stay New York better.

CP: Stay New York better? I think he still wants to move to California.

MG: He likey California?

CP: Yes.

MG: No, here good. Here the money good. California little money. Here, the money up.

CP: Here the money is up and in California it's down?

MG: Huh?

CP: The money is better here?

MG: I likey he here! This-a housey I give to him! That's all!

CP: Oh.

MG: I go San Francisco, planey. I go Michael housey, planey. Like that.

CP: Oh.

MG: I let Georgie and the baby stay here. Yah, you tell him.

CP: Well I think he wants to take the baby to California.

MG: No, California no good. California the money little little, no good.

CP: No good?

MG: New York better. I likey he stay New York better.

CP: Don't you want....

MG: This-a housey I give to him, his children, I don't mind. Let him get the housey for the children, for the wife, everything. I only need a couple.....maybe I have money, I go Stanley housey, vacation, like that.

CP: Umm hmm.

MG: Yah, you tell him, OK?

CP: Well I thought he wanted to sell the house. Don't you want to sell?

MG: I don't wanna sell. I likey he and wife and children sleepy and stay here.

CP: Ok.

MG: Stay here better. YOU! (GIGGLE) You and him, all stay here!

CP: Ok.

MG: Me, I go Stanley housey, vacation. I go to Michael housey, vacation.

CP: Ok.

MG: Some time I take the baby. I likey.

CP: I know you like the babies.

MG: Yah! Only take the baby. The baby stay here. New York good. New York go to school, everything good. You tell Georgie don't move! Stay here!

CP: Ok.

MG: Housey, I give to him and he baby.

CP: Ok.

MG: Yah, baby! You stay with him! (Giggle!)

CP: Oh I get to stay too? Thank you! I'm happy about that, I like that!

MG: I go to Stanley housey, vacation! I go Michael housey, vacation! Like that!

CP: Ok.

MG: He stay!

CP: He stays! Ok, I'll tell him.

MG: I tell him not sell, stay!

CP: Ok.

MG: You stay and he stay and wifey, everything, he stay, he children.

CP: Ok. We all stay together.

MG: I likey like that. I go here, go here, go here, he stay here.

CP: Ok.

MG: Not sell. Ok?

CP: Can we move into your apartment?

MG: Huh?

CP: Can we have your apartment?

MG: My apartment I can sleep one time but too muchy for me!

CP: Too messy for you?

MG: I no want it. Georgie get marry, I let Georgie get it.

CP: Ok.

MG: I go to Stanley housey couple months, I go Michael housey couple months, right here, easy, right?

CP: Ok.

MG: Only me.

CP: Ok.

MG: If he want I take care his baby! (Giggle!)

CP: Ok.

MG: Oh! I think I have no power! My hand no good, no power!

CP: No powder?

MG: (Making baby rocking motion) Like that! I hold the baby! I am eighty......I don't know, let me see.....

CP: You're 85?

MG: I born in 1923.

CP: Ok.

MG: 1923......

CP: Yep, you're 85.

MG: Yah, 85, right?

CP: Yes.

MG: I likey you, you stay with him, OK! I go this time, this time, this time, like that.

CP: Ok, I'll be the nursemaid.

MG: Yah, you tell him, ok?

CP: Ok.

MG: I no likely he sell this-a housey. No go, the money little. Here, good money, good, good, right?

CP: Um hm.

MG: Here the money better outside.

CP: Would it be better for him to have a boy baby or a girl baby?

MG: Giggle!! Hee hee hee hee!!!! Everything I likey! A boy, a girl, I likey!

CP: You like everything?

MG: A boy, a girl, talk to me, play with me! I likey! GIGGLE!

CP: All right, bye bye!


lulu said...

She is NOT taking my baby on vacation with her!

GETkristiLOVE said...

I didn't realize Mama Gin is 85 - she's got a lot of spunk for that age, I'll give her that.

Oh, and I have a pretty hot Nurse's uniform for when Lulu and George's baby is born, if you're into that.

The Freelance Guru said...

I can't believe how much you take from Mamma Gin! But for 85 she's still got a lot of fight in her. You best give her that baby soon.

Dale said...

I was only half mental before I watched this video. Now the room is spinning. Oh my god!!

Mnmom said...

Poor woman really wants a baby. I understand that. But she's still nuts.

Chris said...

I just introduced my wife to the pleasures that are MG. I had to also let her see the deed one.

The next time we are having hot wild monkey sex (currently scheduled for May 2010), I'm going to scream out in the middle of it, "You give me baby, I 85".

Jake's Mom said...

She likey babies but I don't think she could eat a whole one.

Mombi said...

Mama Gin can vacation at Mombi's housey anytime!!

Coaster Punchman said...

Oh Mombi, be very careful what you wish for...

PG said...

Mama Gin likes all babies except her own (just ask Ruby). She originates from an old line of chickens whose heritage is now long gone.

Alan said...

Chris, does wild monkey sex consist of flinging poo?

Mama Gin's about to have a regular Brangelina situation up in there. Get the nappies ready!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Get that woman a baby for goodness sake. I'm begging you.

Doc said...

Boy is she going to be pissed of in six months, that's all I gotta say!


Anonymous said...

How about adoption?

Creepy said...

When does Mama Gin get her own reality TV show?

I'd be careful when having female friends around -- M.G. could put roofies in all your drinks and get that grandchild she wants after all.

Grant Miller said...

I have to agree - I'd chose New York of California too.

Bubs said...


BeckEye said...

I likey your housey too. Can I move in?

GrizzBabe said...

I wonder how bad it would rock Mama Gin's world if you and George adopted a baby together? No wifey, just you two and a baby.

wonderturtle said...

Seems like baby talk puts her in a good mood! You get to stay! ;)

Gifted Typist said...

Utterly precious!

PG said...

Dear Gentle Readers:

I already told the MG that I would adopt a baby from China and she flew into a panic saying: "China only keeps the good babies, they give away only the bad ones".

Pretty sick stuff. Confirmation once again that I was switched at birth.

Mombi said...


Then tell her that you stole the baby.

Alan said...


Should I laugh or cry?

Anonymous said...

I think you guys would make awesome Dads.

Especially the way you cook PG. You can adopt me anytime. Oh thats right I am old enough to be your Mom. Never mind.

jin said...

I love that you record her for all the [blog]world to see!!!

So, I've been busy. You know that. Eventaully my commenting habits will get back to normal (er, abnormal?) until then... I shall leave you with a linky.
Ohhhh.... jinny made a Chess Cake! ;-D

Tenacious S said...

Lulu and Jane to the rescue! Who knew that they could be the answer to all of your problems? Would she settle for a nocturnal ADD high school girl? She's available for loan.

Bacon Lady said...

Adopt! Adopt!

We can have a virtual baby shower. I'm going to have a onesie made up that reads:

"Me likey my Nana!"

Thymm Symmz said...

oh sweet jesus christ on a ritz cracker...