Monday, May 07, 2007

Melinda June's Interview with CP

Today we have questions from the Lovely & Talented Melinda June.

1. Mama Gin can't be all bad. Give us three things to like about her.

a. Her compulsive gambling.

b. Her penchant for opening our door and giggling at the sight of the cats.

c. Her absence.

2. Imagine that you're cooking dinner and there's a knock on the door. It's a twenty three year old whose mother, Chevy Chevette, has told him you are his father. What's he like? Why is he looking for you?
Chevy Jr. would be 25 now, not 23. Chevy Jr. would be intelligent in that borderline retarded kind of way; just ever so slightly compulsive; and of course, devastatingly handsome. He would be looking for me in an attempt to derive a share of the fortune that is being made off of my syndicated online column, Coaster Punchman's World. Oh wait, that's only in my fantasies, right?

And by the way, you are positively evil.

3. What, exactly, is too prudish? What, exactly, is too much sharing?
Too prudish: Throwing down a book just because one of the characters decided to have a little fun with his armchair.

Too much sharing: Item #2.

4. You claim to be psychically linked to all cats. Does this include lions and tigers? Are they drawn to you when you go to zoos? Would it be safe to take you on safari?
Probably not. One time I was at the Como Zoo with our friend KC, and we were looking at a beautiful tiger in one of those really close-up cages like they used to have. I kept leaning in, trying to get as close as possible saying "here kitty kitty!" when all of a sudden the beast up and lunged at me, throwing his entire body up against the side of the cage. I shrieked and ran like hell.

5. Tell us about the best date you and Georgie have had.
One day, many moons ago, Poor George took me to the Bronx Botanical Gardens when the magnolia trees were in full bloom. It was a weekday and there were no other people around, so we decided to lie down on the grass under the trees and take a nap. It was heaven.


Dino aka Katy said...

the last photo is cute. Awww I like kitties too haven't leaned into a tigers cage in a while

Dale said...

You're fast becoming the most interviewed celebrity I know! I'm glad George took you out to help cure your jaundice.

Did you ever finish The Corrections? I can't remember but laughed reading through the link and comment stream again.

Coaster Punchman said...

Yeah Katie, I would steer clear of the tigers.

Dale, didn't know quite what you meant about jaundice - and then I examined the picture again. Holy liver oil, Batman!

Melinda June said...

Good job, CP, though I think Mama Gin's penchant for firesafety is up there, too.

And I'll make a note: thinking it's ridiculous to fuck furniture is too prudish...talking about farts is too much information. No wonder I'm so lost in this world.

Melinda June said...

By the way, where'd you find that picture with the Interurban? That has to be at least 14 years old.

Grant Miller said...

Can you tell when I fail to clean Bully's box?

Coaster Punchman said...

Heed my words Melinda, I am wise. I took that picture when I was visiting you once - just scanned it to add to the blog.

Bully hasn't complained to me about his box, Grant, but he is communicating that he wants some more manhandlin' lovin' from you. (good touches, not bad touches.)

Bella Rossa said...

Interviewed? And still not famous? Is the wider world of the internet unaware of your magical MTM powers? Something must be done here.

chelene said...

I didn't notice the jaundice (it's a very charming jaundice though) but I did think you look like you just happened to lay down in the middle of a Monet. You obviously ooze culture, CP.

Dale said...

I can't believe you made me pick between you and Mindy in my interview CP. I'll never be the same. Sorry for the shameless comment plug.

lulu said...

Dale-He just sent me questions asking him to pick between him and Mindy as well. I thought the questions were supposed to be unique and handcrafted. I feel ripped off. Although, I didn't ask to be interviewed, he just sent questions, so it's not like I am out any money.

Bubs said...

That's a great photo C.P.

Dates at zoos and botanical gardens are wonderful.

I'm glad to hear mama Gin is a compulsive gambler! What's her game? I have to say, for me personally, no trip to a casino is complete if I don't see an elderly Asian woman freaking out at a blackjack table. Does mama Gin chain smoke, cause that would complete the picture for me.

The Freelance Cynic said...

Ah that last one sounds really sweet :)

Dale said...

I'd force the issue anyway Lulu and ask for some money back. I'd probably have stacked the question to say 'who do you like better? me or me?'. I'm insecure that way.