The CP Top 40 - Part 5

These are Dale's ninja things. They used to be his avatar. Who came up with the word "avatar" anyway? It's pretty stupid.

Today we continue down CP's blog roll, which consists of more than 40 blogs although we are still referring to this feature as "The CP Top 40."

Passion of the Dale
I'm really glad Dale ended up top 'o the list today because he was one of the few who didn't complain when he moved down the blog roll when we went alphabetical. I offered to change his blog name to just "Dale" to give him a higher position but he declined my request. May have been a trademark issue but I suspect it was more his sense that living on my blog roll holds no prestige at all and was therefore not worth the trouble complaining about. Nevertheless, I'm certain almost everyone who reads this blog also reads POTD, so there isn't much I can tell you that you don't already know. He's hilarious, although every now and again he gets all serious which upsets me a fair amount. Check him out if you haven't already, but don't harass him please. Or if you do, don't tell him I sent you.

The Pop Eye
I kind of resent giving Beckeye an extra link since she's too damn popular already, and I'm the type who resents his friends' successes. Just kidding, I want my friends to be successful as long as they share. Beckeye is one of the few bloggers in my circle who has a consistent theme and doesn't just spout verbal diarrhea like the rest of us. She writes about Pop Culture (The Pop Eye, get it?) And she's pretty damn funny while doing it. In fact the few times I missed American Idol this year I just clicked over to her to see what was what. And her recaps were pretty reliable, save for the bizarre fascination with Michael Johns.

Princess Mombi's Friendatorium
Princess Mombi has a cute blog where, among other things, she waxes nostalgic about New Kids on the Block. She was also featured on Rachael Ray's show when they did a spot about her high school reunion. I realized I'm a heck of a lot older than her, too. But I like how she links to me as part of her "Merry Misfits" category. Touche!

Prone to Whimsy
A fine writer, Flannery discusses general subjects in such a way that keeps me clicking back often. She and her husband (see below) will soon be hosting BlogOhio Jamboree, so you should check her out and visit them if you are nearby. As with Dale, just don't tell them I sent you if you plan to behave poorly. Flan and I will also soon be meeting live and in person in NYC! So she'll be one more blogger who can tell you what a bore I am in person. (post script: Blog Ohio Jamboree has already happened; I wrote this post before the date.)

Rants Raves Life and Anything Else That Comes
Not to be confused with an 18th century street urchin, the Artful Dodger of this blog is a newcomer to the CPW family of stalkees. He just got married so there is quite a lot of pre-wedding anxiety blogging. He has a serious issue with putting cheese on hamburgers which makes me wonder if we could ever really be friends.

Social Zymurgy: The Culture of Beer
Thanks to Doc teaching me the word "zymurgy" I was able to finish a Friday Times crossword puzzle, which is quite an accomplishment. Doc is married to Flannery and is quite the fine storyteller - click on over if you haven't already. Occasionally he and Flannery work out their marital issues on their respective blogs, such as a recent point-counterpoint on the relative badness of five movies he's made her watch over the years. Might I note that neither one of them mentioned that Caligula is basically a porno? Money shots and everything. Unless those are illegal in Ohio or something.

Some Guy's Blog
Another blogger I've met in the flesh, Some Guy (aka Chris) provides biting political commentary and toilet humor almost once a day, or possibly about as often as the average human experiences a bowel movement. (Just hypothesizing here.) Chris is a real life friend of blogger legend Grant Miller, but has developed a more than loyal following of his own. I like him too for many reasons, especially for his willingness to help me torment the Mormons.

I, Splotchy
Splotchy is a noted blogger of diverse interests, interests so diverse that it takes several blogs just to address them all. Let it be noted that I did participate in his popular adopt an actor project and posted about my adoption. I had problems getting her to stay on my sidebar which is why poor Kim Walker is hidden in my archives. I only have so much patience for screwing around with computer settings before I give up and start drinking heavily. I think my problem had something to do with her photo being too big. If anyone can assist, please get in touch in the comments or on email.

A Sunny Thought
Kim's blog is a fun mixture of musings about her everyday life and other things. If you have a cold hard mind, check her out to help yourself warm your thoughts.

Tanya Espanya
Yet another blogger who knows I really exist in the flesh. Tanya is funny, and simply crushes our greater blogger circle with her unwavering love. She inhabits a particular place of honor at CPW, being one of the few bloggers who has actually met Mama Gin. Tanya Espanya is also good for a nice family drama every now and again, just to keep us sufficiently entertained.



Tune in soon for the conclusion (for now) of CP's Top 40!

The Return of CP's Top 40 - part 4

Welcome back to CP's Top 40! I have lost count of my current blogroll so, stalkees, bear with me as we are going to continue referring to it as CP's Top 40.

About a year ago CPW went alphabetical in its blogroll system, causing not a small amount of consternation from blogs with names low in the alphabet, some of whom felt they deserved a more privileged spot on the list by virtue of the tenure of their place in my life or by their lack of a gag reflex, or sometimes both.

Nonetheless, it should comfort my Gentle Readers to know that CP is not so easily manipulated by the press, and that only a few specific types of bribery will work to move any particular stalkee out of his or her proper place in line.

Today we continue honoring our list of stalkees, beginning with those who joined since the last edition of CP's Top 40 was published.

Anandamide. Fire in the sky. Not sure why he chose that name, which Wikipedia defines as "an endogenous cannabinoid neurotransmitter found in animal and human organs, especially in the brain." Yah, right. Anyway, Anandamide's blog features a popular "Homoerotic Friday" series where readers are encouraged to submit homoerotic pictures of classic rock musicians. I support this, and applaud him for posting my picture of Eminem even though he's not "classic rock."

Bells On. I've been stalking Vikkitikkitavi much longer than she's been on my blogroll, and we had a great heart-to-heart in person last winter at a blogger gathering in Chicago about the philosophies and politics behind linking. We each ordered another cocktail to celebrate our mutual understanding that there are those who link because they love you, while there are those who link because they themselves want a link. I assured her I linked because I love her. She has contributed some of the most biting political commentary not only on her own blog, but in the comment sections of others such as CPW.

Better Living Through Bacon. This girl is delightful beyond delights. I chuckle out loud each time I stop over at her place, which is not often enough. Every time I go to her blog (and several of you enjoy this status with me) I think "shit, she is so funny, I have to start dropping by twice a day." She recently reported that her laptop has shit on her, so you might want to drop by and pay your respects - maybe with some Wet Ones or something to help clean up the mess.

Bliss and Bile. Holy shit, I just realized that if I'm only now getting to Chelene, I really haven't paid attention to this little blogroll project in some time. Chelene is awesome. Her snippets are often short, to the point and very amusing - in other words, perfect for a borderline retarded Punchman with the attention span God gave a watermelon. Plus we are real life friends, and all the straight boys I know are out to get into her... oh well, never mind - family blog here! Search my blog for her name and you'll find an awesome video starring hers truly. NOTE: I just discovered that I did indeed already cover Chelene in a previous post. Oh well baby, enjoy even more of the spotlight!

Gifted Typist is a relative newcomer to the CPW family, though I have noticed her stalking our American Idolatry blog more than once. She has the honor of being a real-life writer for a Halifax newspaper, which endears her to me since Nova Scotia is where Poor George and I first got together. Magical place. I would encourage you to check out both her blog and her professionally published writing such as this article where she very meanly snubs Skipper, Barbie's flat chested little sister. The nerve!

Gifts from a Broad proves the mutual point that Vikki and I made regarding linkage: if I like you enough, I will link to you even though you don't link to me. And I won't even be bitter about it. Not really. At least not right away. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, I remember when I first discovered her, I must have read about 20 posts in a row and laughed my ass off a good percentage of the time. Check her out.

Happy to Be from Iowa - Mnmom, as she calls herself, is another one of those good writers from the Melinda June circle of Iowa friends. Her blog is a pleasing mixture of humor, politics and snippets from everyday life to help us all keep it real. She may be interested to know that Poor George, while not being from Iowa, was very happy to visit Iowa with me this Christmas and was very charmed by Decorah. He even told me he thinks his oldest brother is jealous that George got to go somewhere as exotic as Iowa. I'm serious.

He Had No Identifying Characteristics. MichaelG has known Melinda June even longer than I, which is not easy to say in this world. I met him a few times years and years ago and will perhaps cross paths with him again one day. But for now, blogland is our sandbox. He's funny. Check him out.

Monkey Muck. Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein is a blogger popular with the political and irreverent types. I particularly like it when he gets bitchy and also when he sticks it to the right wingers who I have to agree are ruining (some would say have ruined) this country. Plus he let me win a contest over at his place and sent me a coolio postcard as a prize. It's on my mom's refrigerator.

Ok Fine, Whatever! Any girl who would title her blog after a line in Clueless gets my vote! Dino aka Katy grew up in the former East Germany but now resides in the US, where she blogs about her daily life and posts lots of pictures. I like blogs like that. She also has met Jin in real life, several times. Luucky! (said in my best Napoleon Dynamite voice.)


Stop by for CP's next ten, to come out soon!

Don't worry Tanya, your turn will come...eventually!

CP's Top 40 Stalkees: Part 3

Welcome back to CP's Top 40 Blogs Recap! (Which was "CP's Top 38" last time we spoke.)

Last week, in blogs 11 through 20, we visited new-media mogul Grant Miller; enjoyed the morass of slimy office politics that is Grizzbabe's Den; brushed elbows with the eloquently prolific Johnny Yen; crawled inside the wondrous shell of Blogspot's favorite Wonderturtle; stopped in on Marni over at It's a Pug's Life; waved a big heartland hello to Jacob's Mom; sampled the tasty world of Jintrinsique and got a sitter for the kids so that we could visit Jin's Unplugged site; stopped in for cocktails and Kristian-baiting with the lovely Katie Schwartz; and visited Bluez's not-so-lame world of Lame Stuff.

Today we continue down CP's new all-alphabetical-all-the-time link list, visiting numbers 21 through 30 of the greatest 40 blogs ever known to the human race.

Bliss & Bile: A newcomer to CPW since we started the Top 40 Recap, Chelene of NYC comes to us through Dale's strong recommendation. So far, she has not disappointed. We recently discussed the possibility of starting a new blog to chronicle the horrors of NYC public transportation, but decided there is not enough space on the Internet to contain all of our rage. Bliss & Bile also features one of CPW's two favorite back-of-the-head blog profile photos.

Land-o-Lulu: I met Lulu on a bus in 1984; she was wearing sweat pants and purple Chuck Taylors, and I was knitting. That description pretty much sums up the timbre of our friendship. It's always a fun ride over in the crazy Land-o-Lulu; stop on by if you haven't already.

The Madman is a Waking Dreamer: Sometimes poetic and often prosaic, Tumuli consistently delivers interesting takes on the issues of the day.

Melinda June: I also met Mindy in 1984 when I was literally shoved into her dorm room and thrown into a game of Trivial Pursuit with her. I don't recall who won, but there was definitely heavy drinking involved. We haven't looked back since.

Modern Day Hobo: Although I haven't seen him often over the years, Martin is my oldest real-life friend on this list; we also met in 1984, the summer before I started college. Martin is a world traveler, and has lived in more countries than an international jewel thief. He is currently studying engineering, working simultaneously on projects in the third world. Although Modern Day Hobo is still in its infancy, CPW is expecting great things from it.

Molecular Turtle: The Turtle-Boy, as I like to call him, authored one of CPW's all-time favorite blog posts: The Great Cadbury Creme Cake Experiment. Ever since the day we howled our collective laughter over that piece, the Molecular Turtle has been a regular fixture on the pages of CPW.

Musings of a Hapabukbuk: A real-life friend of our beloved Wonderturtle, Hapabukbuk is a fellow New York blogger who recounts her tales in the same witty style as some of her friends. Her most recent post had me giggling like a school girl, and may go down in history as one of my favorite posts, along with those of my two Turtle friends.

My Head is a Box Filled with Nothing: Gizmorox keeps us entertained with tales of her mother, romances, work and whatever else is occupying her mind. Usually notifies us of her song choice of the day as well. Gizmorox recently dumped CPW as a link, probably due to our lack of commenting during a phase when we didn't have time to make the rounds every day. No matter, Gizmorox is still a welcome part of the CPW family of bloggers. Sniff sniff.

Non Vocabulum: First introduced to us (once again) through Dale, Non Vocabulum has become a blogger favorite over at American Idolatry. Her give-til-it-hurts posting has more than once had me rolling on the floor, gasping for air through my laughter. She has recently gone private, ostensibly to avoid possible legal sanctions over some of her more colorful language. On a more serious note, she recently posted this gem of a sentence while pondering our media's wide coverage of disasters such as the horrible Virginia Tech shootings: Oh, Americans love to shine the spotlight on tragedy, as long as it has nothing to do with the ones they are causing. I hear you loud & clear, NV.

Nurse Ratchet: My cousin Beth recently took up blogging as a hobby and a way to vent some of the frustrations of her busy life. Beware, she pulls no punches when someone pisses her off. We love & respect that here.



Stay tuned for the final installment of CP's Top 40 Stalkees (um, I mean blogs.)

CP's top 38 - part 2

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to the continuation of CP's Tribute to his Top 38 Stalkees. Our last installment featured the brilliant commentary of American Idolatry, the beautiful Bella Rossa, Chicagoland greats The Bubses, Megan from By & By, Pink Fluffy Slippers' wondrous world of Cello Et Cetera, the lovable Creepy from the Church of Lost Souls, the musically inclined Beth from A Cup of Coffey, CPW newcomer Dead Spot on the Web, Old Lady's excellent and Eclectic Tales, and the UK's favorite blog-traffic whore, the Freelance Cynic.

Today we continue down CP's alphabetical list. Remember to check back regularly, as your turn will soon be here.


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Grant Miller Media: The latest true competition to the API, Grant Miller Media features all the latest - and compelling - news about the world, at least the parts of it that relate directly to Grant Miller. Currently on a successful series run focusing on those who have lied to him in the past. Beware: rumor has it that Grant Miller knows how to hold a grudge if crossed.

GrizzBabe's Den: Grizzbabe focuses primarily on the politics in her small office, where a sense of pending doom generally prevails. She occasionally veers off to other topics, leaving me hungry to find out what is currently going on in the office. I'm still waiting to see what that brown stuff was that the New Girl left on the toilet.

Here Comes Johnny Yen Again: An apt title for his blog, at least in the sense that Lulu knows him, since he was someone she knew in a former life who reappeared by chance in our blog circle. A good writer, always providing an interesting story or point of view. I'm still reeling from the one about the guy who lost his eye in a bar fight.

In Her Shell (The Wonderturtle): One of these days I'm going to have to publish an anthology of my top 100 list of favorite blog posts, and when I do, Wonderturtle's writing will be featured more than once. She came as a real-life recommendation from Lulu. When I clicked over from Land-o-Lulu and read her open letter announcing her official retirement as a bridesmaid, I knew I was destined to be hers forever.

It's a Pug's Life: Marni, author of this blog, is a cousin of Beth over at A Cup of Coffey. She blogs about the everyday and not-so-everyday things that she finds interesting or pertinent, such as her kids, her pug dogs, and of course, American Idol. (Marni is also one of our esteemed panelists over at American Idolatry.) Another good ole' 40-something American gal, just like we like 'em.

Jacob's Mom: My sister Marg, mother of our dearly deceased (murdered) Jacob, writes about various topics ranging from outrage at the war in Iraq that killed her son to the latest Maxine cartoons. Also a regular panelist on American Idolatry. She also shares plenty of stories about our rather interesting family. Not always for the feint of heart.

Jintrinsique: Jin stumbled across CPW over a year ago, and when I clicked over to see who she was, her gratuitous pastry shots had me hooked within seconds. Jin is a pastry chef who lives in rural Wisconsin with her Brit ex-pat husband, her dog Brioche and her parents. She's a real hoot to read, especially when she gets to ripping on some of her more obnoxious customers. I've sampled her pastries in person twice, and I highly recommend ordering a sweet box of your own - there is a link to her shoppe's site on her blog.

Jintrinsique Unplugged: Jin's second site with less pastry and more swearing. A lot more.

Katie Schwartz: I found Katie through Dale - I first clicked on her because she has the same name of this nice Catholic girl who used to live down the street from me. But within one paragraph, I was pretty sure she was not the same Katie I knew from childhood; while this Katie may be nice, she is far from Catholic. I stopped by Katie periodically until one day I stumbled upon her series of open letters to Lisa Whelchel from The Facts of Life. Katie became mine forever that day, and now I cannot look away.

Lame Stuff: Bluez, author of this blog, is plenty snarky - which is just how we like our bloggers. She has become a pal of my sister, and also participates in our Idolatry ranting. Although she refers to her blog as Lame, we at CPW find it to be anything but.

CPW has gone alphabetical

Gentle Readers,
I have finally sorted out my link list and added my newest stalkees. I also set aside my previous ordering criteria wherein your place on the list reflected a mixture of the following:

• whether or not I know you in real life;
• whether I know you through someone I know in real life;
  
• if know you, how long I've know you;
  
• if I know you only in blog life, how long I've been stalking you;
  
• and how lazy I was on the day I decided to stalk you.

As of today, we'll have no more of this sliding scale business as our linking standard at CPW, Gentle Readers. No no, that is just too much to manage, as big a fan as I am of arbitrary discipline. From now on, CPW will present itself as an egalitarian webspace; today we are going alphabetical in our linking system.

I realize this is a controversial move, especially to those stalkees who previously topped the list by virtue of the important positions they occupy in the joke I refer to as "my life." So I'm throwing y'all a bone. To honor each and every one of you, my beloved stalkees, I am issuing the following salutes to you, ten bloggers at a time.

Today we start with stalkee numbers 1-10. Keep checking back with regularity to read the rest of my future-award-winning tributes.


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American Idolatry: Delightfully biting commentary on no one's favorite pastime, American Idol. Founded by the Lovely & Talented Melinda June and Yours Truly, and this season joined by legions of pre-qualified blogger friends. Not for the feint of heart.

Bella Rossa: Days in the life of an inspired Hoosier transplant in Chicago. This gal has more creative side projects going than God himself, and she often reminds me it might be a good idea to get off the couch.

The Bubses: Liberal suburban Chicago cop and his wife, Miz Bubs, originally stumbled upon by Mindy. Their Sprawling Ramshackle Compound provides almost daily tales and tidbits of freaks and other oddities from the news and their own lives. The Bubses have also become real life friends of some of our other Chicagoland blogging friends.

By & By: Megan is a liberal schoolteacher living in Virginia. I first started reading her because I thought she was a real life friend of Lulu, but even after I found out they were strangers to one another, I stuck around because her writing is humorous and compelling. And now she and Lulu are indeed real life friends.

Cello Et Cetera: Although her writing is often serious, Pink Fluffy Slippers has a kind of dry wit that just kills me on a regular basis. I picture her as one of those people who don't even intend to be funny but just are naturally. And the childhood photo she posted as part of our Little Miss Sunshine Online Pageant cracked me up so much that I kept checking back daily for a while just to have another giggle. I was afraid she'd think I was a truly crazy stalker instead of just a cyberstalker, but she kept my link up so it must be OK.

Church of Lost Souls: I first clicked over from Dale because the name inspired me. I stuck around because he is one of the most unusual bloggers I read. His posts amble from topic to topic, from his Jehovah's Witness co-worker to his family to his sex life to his psychotherapy to his straight-guy indignation at the ridiculousness of homophobia. He's worth a read if you haven't been there, and I bet he's not as anti-social as he presents himself to be.

A Cup of Coffey: Beth is a popular blogger with many online friends. The primary focus of her blog tends to be her obsession with REM, although she branches to other bands and many other topics as well. Her perfection with all things grammatical makes me ashamed at my inevitably frequent errors. I like to think I'm generally OK with most of the rules, but whenever I'm in doubt I am just too damn lazy to get up and check a reference book. If I even own one, that is.

Dead Spot on the Web: A relative newcomer to CPW, Dead Spot is a member of the Johnny Yen Mafia. His posts are eclectic, often irreverent and always entertaining. Mindy will be glad to know he enjoys poking fun at the Brits and Republicans.

Eclectic Tales: Old Lady enjoys a loyal following of readers who enjoy her interesting stories from her past. Making her home in Savannah, Georgia, Old Lady possesses a deep repository of true stories about ghosts that she doles out in guarded moderation. Always a good time to be had at Old Lady's place.

Freelance Cynic: Another newcomer to CPW. A Brit we can poke fun of and who, from all appearances, can take it like a man. He's also a self-professed whore for blog traffic, so I'm sure he'll appreciate your visit. Time will tell if he's any other kind of whore as well, but we at CPW have our suspicions.


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Remember to check back soon for my next ten!