Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I'm wearing a wife beater

My weird friend Daniel said it pisses him off when guys wear t-shirts under their dress shirts where you can see the t-shirt sleeves through the long sleeves of the dress shirt. I don't know why this "pisses him off" - it seems there are a lot worse things to be upset about. Nevertheless, I recently decided to try wearing undershirts because it's winter now and besides, the whole thing about being able to see through a dress shirt got me thinking maybe people have been sneaking peeks at my cute little masculine anatomical things. So I done got myself some wife beaters because that way I figure I won't piss Daniel off since there will be no t-shirt sleeves to see.

Problem is, whenever I wear undershirts they tend to creep up and not stay tucked into my pants. So today I got clever and tucked my wife beater right into the strap of my underpants. End result was that I felt Mormon all day - like I was wearing one of their celestial garments. Like this one:

My wife beater makes me feel fat because it adds a whole new layer that my pants and belt have to wrap around. And I'm sorry, but there just ain't that much room left to spare in that arena. But I have to admit that one of the benefits to my having gotten fat is that at least my upper torso now doesn't look so scrawny. I can actually wear a wife beater now, and as long as your eyes don't go too far south I look halfway decent. F*ck yeah!

Friday, December 03, 2004

I'm stranded in Sunny Eagan Minnesota!

It's Friday night. I was going to play with my friend Chuck E. Cheese tonight, but he done got sick and can't go out. The rest of my work colleagues took our rental cars and went out to play in Uptown where they will eat pizza at Figlio and go roller skating later. I have no idea where the idea for that one came from. I told them to be sure to card any boys they pick up to make sure they're of age.

I want everyone who reads my blog to visit Amy's Diary and tell me what you think. It's one of my favorite things in the world right now.

Now it's time to visit the hotel swimming pool, after having downed three glasses of wine. I drank them while doing my work-related homework, so I guess I'm officially an alcoholic now. Yay!