Wednesday, April 23, 2008

CP random blogging

Gentle Readers,

At CPW I don't generally blog on random items; I usually try to come up with a topic to discuss, a particular story to tell, or specific cat pictures to encourage my Gentle Readers to fawn over.

Today I am deviating from that policy. Whereas I have many a story brewing in my head, sometimes it takes a while for the meds to kick in and quiet the maelstrom in there so that I can write. Therefore, Gentle Readers, I have decided it might be better to check in with you periodically rather than make you wait for my psychosis to abate.

With that, here are my random items for today.

1. I have my own driver now. He took me to the airport earlier this year and asked if I wanted him to pick up me upon return. I said "no" at first because I've had car service "appointments" at the airport before and they usually turn into a big mess and take longer than it would just to wait for a cab. But he promised to call the airline to check on my flight number and to be there on time etc. etc. So I agreed.

The first night he met me at the airport he jumped out of the car, grabbed my suitcase, gave me this huge smile and said "Yah, you like me picking you up at the airport, don't you???" It was so cute I nearly swooned. So now I have his cell phone number and I just call him directly whenever I need a ride. He lives only four blocks from me, so I never have to give him directions. And his name is even Mo, but only because he's Egyptian.

2. I just got back from another sales conference I attended with my colleagues. The 3jesus97 lady and I have actually become very good friends, and she giggled like a schoolgirl when I told her my 11 years with Poor George are like 30 straight years.

3. The people that invited us to this sales conference are assholes. They were supposed to be "helping" us; instead, they presented a bunch of bullshit, then made each of us stand up and give a short demo on one of our products so that they could "evaluate" us, American Idol style, and choose a "winner" based on who gave the "best" presentation.

I don't mind contests when they are based on hard & fast data, e.g. on who sold the most or something like that. But to stand up and be judged and compared to colleagues based on nothing other than whom the judges decide they like the best is just offensive. Since no one likes me, of course I did not win which is all the more reason I should be annoyed.

Next time they invite me to one of these I'm going to announce that we, the attendees, will evaluate each speaker and select the "best" at the end of the meeting. And the award will be a swift kick in the ass, but I'll present one of those to each of them on accounta I'm egalitarian.

4. I had a dream this morning that we were meeting our friend Bradley at an outdoor opera, and he arrived wearing a Brunhilde helmet. As we were walking toward the amphitheater, a bunch of frat boys grabbed Bradley's helmet and ran away with it. Bradley looked so forlorn that I took after the boys to try to get the helmet back. I never caught them, but I did run into this guy from my high school who used to taunt me for being gay and then whose father later got in trouble for molesting teenage boys. What a dick. (The part about the guy with the molester father is true, although it is only in my dream that I ran into him.)


Monday, April 14, 2008

Mama Gin guest stars on The Chelene Show

Move over Oprah, there's a new talk show host in town and her name is Chelene! Tune in for Chelene's Bliss and Bile hour with special guest star, Mama Gin.

Note how Mama Gin thinks the digicam is a regular camera and she just sits there as if she's posing for a picture. It's about as quiet as she ever gets, so I'm not complaining.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Pabooba pix Redux

Can you believe we had to leave the pool to pee?

Heckle & Jeckle, Pabooba style

Poor George befriends the birds.

And Mindy thought HER swans were pure evil. Hah.

CP prepares for his maiden parasailing voyage.

Freaking out just slightly.

Too bad the camera couldn't catch me shitting my pants.

Having to vacation with colleagues is made easier
by the knowledge that we aren't the fattest ones on the boat.

Some stupid buoy or something in the upper right
disturbed my otherwise pristine water + Poor George shot.

Poor George. He doesn't get enough pictures taken of him.

Tacky mall. Cool photo.

Poor George is quite pleased with himself over this shot.
I think I look like a doofus.

CP nurses a sunburn.

Poor, poor George.


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Return from Pabooba

We're back!

We spent the last 5 days here in Pabooba. I am badly sunburned but am closely approaching the itchy-peeling phase. Poor George is practically vibrating with anticipation because he's a peeling-lover. He's like a "Night of the Living Dead" cannibal that I have to fend off with a garden tool.

I wish this photo could do this place justice. Opulent is a word that comes to mind. Everything about this vacation was perfect, except that there were a few too many work colleagues hanging around, and I've had better food in my life.

But having no responsibility other than to sit in a pool or on the beach and be served cocktails?

I don't think life gets any better. I'm glad we went despite my sour grapes.

Possibly more photos to follow.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Mama Gin Files: Where in the world is Mama Gin?

As I noted in my last post, Tanya Espanya and her clan stopped in on Sunday for a visit at the home of Brooklyn's most famous mother-in-law. Tanya recently posted a short video recap of Mama Gin coming into Poor George's & CP's apartment to fawn over the adorable Baby Alexander.

Below is a pre-quel to Tanya's video, where CP & Tanya take Alexander upstairs in search of the crazy lady after she (at first) refused to come down for a visit.

The objective was to convince Mama Gin that Tanya was Poor George's gurlfriend and that they had finally produced offspring together. Mama Gin had once promised to give George $200 if he had a baby, and we needed the cash for dinner.

The camera work is downright startling, very "Silence of the Lambs." We experienced a few unsettling moments when it seemed that Mama Gin had evaporated into her own cloud of filth - until we discovered she was only in the bedroom changing her clothes to make herself presentable for an actual visit.

May wonders never cease.