Wednesday, April 23, 2008

CP random blogging


Gentle Readers,

At CPW I don't generally blog on random items; I usually try to come up with a topic to discuss, a particular story to tell, or specific cat pictures to encourage my Gentle Readers to fawn over.

Today I am deviating from that policy. Whereas I have many a story brewing in my head, sometimes it takes a while for the meds to kick in and quiet the maelstrom in there so that I can write. Therefore, Gentle Readers, I have decided it might be better to check in with you periodically rather than make you wait for my psychosis to abate.

With that, here are my random items for today.

1. I have my own driver now. He took me to the airport earlier this year and asked if I wanted him to pick up me upon return. I said "no" at first because I've had car service "appointments" at the airport before and they usually turn into a big mess and take longer than it would just to wait for a cab. But he promised to call the airline to check on my flight number and to be there on time etc. etc. So I agreed.

The first night he met me at the airport he jumped out of the car, grabbed my suitcase, gave me this huge smile and said "Yah, you like me picking you up at the airport, don't you???" It was so cute I nearly swooned. So now I have his cell phone number and I just call him directly whenever I need a ride. He lives only four blocks from me, so I never have to give him directions. And his name is even Mo, but only because he's Egyptian.


2. I just got back from another sales conference I attended with my colleagues. The 3jesus97 lady and I have actually become very good friends, and she giggled like a schoolgirl when I told her my 11 years with Poor George are like 30 straight years.


3. The people that invited us to this sales conference are assholes. They were supposed to be "helping" us; instead, they presented a bunch of bullshit, then made each of us stand up and give a short demo on one of our products so that they could "evaluate" us, American Idol style, and choose a "winner" based on who gave the "best" presentation.

I don't mind contests when they are based on hard & fast data, e.g. on who sold the most or something like that. But to stand up and be judged and compared to colleagues based on nothing other than whom the judges decide they like the best is just offensive. Since no one likes me, of course I did not win which is all the more reason I should be annoyed.

Next time they invite me to one of these I'm going to announce that we, the attendees, will evaluate each speaker and select the "best" at the end of the meeting. And the award will be a swift kick in the ass, but I'll present one of those to each of them on accounta I'm egalitarian.


4. I had a dream this morning that we were meeting our friend Bradley at an outdoor opera, and he arrived wearing a Brunhilde helmet. As we were walking toward the amphitheater, a bunch of frat boys grabbed Bradley's helmet and ran away with it. Bradley looked so forlorn that I took after the boys to try to get the helmet back. I never caught them, but I did run into this guy from my high school who used to taunt me for being gay and then whose father later got in trouble for molesting teenage boys. What a dick. (The part about the guy with the molester father is true, although it is only in my dream that I ran into him.)


Love,
CP

20 comments:

Mnmom said...

Is Bradley from Minnesota?

jin said...

Being jintrinsique I don't generally comment on randomly blogged items such as this.

Today I am deviating from that policy. Whereas I have many a comment brewing in my head, sometimes I'm just too fucking lazy to click out of my feedreader.

Old Lady said...

There are a bunch of burgeoning sales teaching companies popping up on the radar and I am with you on most of them, just so much bs!

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

Mmmm.... Random Wonderments. And fat ladies singing!! I think I'll buy you chocolates!

BeckEye said...

So,yo yo yo dawg, did you blow the other salesmen out the box? And did you all think while you were outside said box?

GETkristiLOVE said...

Mo, but only because he's Egyptian.

That's pretty funny.

Next time, just hand out candy or prizes at the end of the presentation. Works every time.

The Freelance Guru said...

I'd be kind of scared if someone said to me, 'you like me picking you up from the airport?'

Well, that, or turned on.

Dale said...

I like it when you break your own rules, you're a rebel. There must be a photo of a cat in a helmet no?

Grant Miller said...

I'm thankful I never run into molesters in my dreams.

Bubs said...

I love the random.

Ah dreams. I have not run into anything scary in my dreams for a while now. Nothing really funny, though, either.

Thank you, by the way, for posting these revealing snippets of corporate life. As I get closer to retirement it helps to see what my options are, in terms of how much dickery I'd have to put up with in different settings.

Oh, one more thing. The next time you're looking for something to write about, HOW ABOUT FINISHING MY INTERVIEW QUESTIONS?!?

Dino aka Katy said...

i enjoy random posts. Mhhh I want a driver especially these days where I drive so much it be nice to have someone else do the driving and just take a nap

lulu said...

Having a driver is nice isn't it?

Alan said...

Happy that 3jesus97 turns out not to be as obnoxious as her screen name!

chelene said...

Well, aren't you the swank one with a driver and all? Yes, I'm jealous.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My husband has made the same arrangement with a driver since our local airport is all torn up and it's difficult to park or use the valet.

Having your own driver is totally awesome, and much cheaper than one would think. It makes me feel all fancy pants.

Beth said...

I had my own personal driver when I lived at my last place. I loved it! I felt like such a Manhattanite ...

BeckEye said...

What is up with American Idolatry? Paula has her greatest moment yet and no one is over there writing about it?? CP, take the reins and right this wrong.

Doc said...

The Driver, The Judge, and the Dream. Sounds like some wierd action movie I might like to sit through. Hope the meds kick in, until then, have a beer. It works for me.

Doc

Gifted Typist said...

"I told her my 11 years with Poor George are like 30 straight years.

That's is one brilliant line. I DO hope you won't mind if I borrow it. I will credit you and even out blogspot addresses

vikkitikkitavi said...

I've never known an Egyptian named Mo, but I actually did know a one-legged midget named Les.

Oh, and #3? Pretty much my vision of hell.