Okay!! Okay!!

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm writing about. It's just me and my family on a sleigh ride on Christmas Eve in Vermont. Ain't it pretty?

Okay everyone, I know I promised I was going to write more on the blog this year --- and already I've let nearly a month go by. I'm just going to have to sit down and do this, to see what happens. Who knows ---- maybe the Great American Novel will just come flowing out of my fingertips like 'tude flowing out of Tonya Harding. (I always think of old Tonya when I hear mention of the word "fingertips" ---- some dumb thing she said in an interview once. You know me, CP, mind like a steel trap.)

I have two series I need to wrap up --- one about Alyssa Milbert sucking my balls --- and one about a romance I had in college. I think I may start by paraphrasing what I've written about so far so that it won't be so painful for you to catch up with me.

It also helps that it's 3:12 am PST and I have insomnia. And I'm getting on a plane in three hours. Huzzah!

CP

13 random items on Friday the 13th

Random fact: This is a map of Balboa park, which is a few blocks from our house. PG and I got married in the Redwood Circle.

1. I love reading everyone on my blog roll, but I haven't been doing so for a while. When I start to think about logging on and catching up with all of you, I get overwhelmed and then I don't do it. I am starting to understand why some of our blogging friends have closed up shop. But I simply refuse to let CPW die.

2. I am having dinner with Tanya Espanya tonight. She is here with Rowbear and spawn, and after threatening to cook for me has now decided to take me out for Mexican.

3. My friend Sarah and her husband and two spawn are coming to my house tomorrow. I'm supposed to feed them drinks and then take them somewhere local for dinner. I've considered cooking but I get frustrated when I think of things to make and then realize 3 of the implements I would need are still with Poor George in New York.

4. Poor George plans to be here next month, with the rest of our stuff. Except that he's decided (with my approval) to give my piano to some good friends of ours. Because we want to buy a grand piano, so why pay to move my console across the country? I have mixed feelings about this because I don't want to live without a piano for too long, yet I don't know when we'll be able to afford a grand. Poor me.

5. 30 Rock is the funniest show ever. Except for The Office. But 30 Rock may even be funnier. I can't decide, and you can't make me.

6. Our bedroom is lavender and purple. Is that really gay or just a little gay?

7. I love my job. I don't make enough money, but it's the perfect job for me. The only downside is that since I'm no longer a Strategic Sales Executive I don't have as much to bitch about, which makes for much less entertaining reading for you. Suffer.

8. My life is so quiet compared to living in the big city. It's strange. I like it, but it's strange.

9. I go country western dancing every Thursday now. I've been toying with the idea of having a country western wedding reception, since PG and I originally planned on having a "big" party to invite our friends and family to with more than a week's notice. It would be really fun. We could have an instructor for a few hours to teach the novices how to do the steps. Help me sell PG on this.

10. [deleted by the censors]

11. My friend Shelly and I got really drunk at a work conference a few weeks ago, and decided (while drunk) that it would be a good idea to go into a video booth and make a tape of ourselves drunkenly pitching one of our products. We both had remorse the next morning, but even more so a day later when they decided to play it in front of 2,000 of our colleagues. Apparently we "won" second place for the "best pitch." We each got a $250 gift card as a prize, but I asked my boss if I could be fired instead. I looked like a TOTAL dork.

12. On the same night that I made the drunken pitch video, I told my work friend Lori over and over how much I loved her. I think I've become too isolated in this job because I don't go to an office, and the only people I talk to during the day are my clients. I'm getting weirder by the second.

13. It's Friday the 13th, so I think I'll end on 13. Anyone have any good tips on how to stop procrastinating? Or how to treat a harelip?

CP random blogging

Gentle Readers,

At CPW I don't generally blog on random items; I usually try to come up with a topic to discuss, a particular story to tell, or specific cat pictures to encourage my Gentle Readers to fawn over.

Today I am deviating from that policy. Whereas I have many a story brewing in my head, sometimes it takes a while for the meds to kick in and quiet the maelstrom in there so that I can write. Therefore, Gentle Readers, I have decided it might be better to check in with you periodically rather than make you wait for my psychosis to abate.

With that, here are my random items for today.

1. I have my own driver now. He took me to the airport earlier this year and asked if I wanted him to pick up me upon return. I said "no" at first because I've had car service "appointments" at the airport before and they usually turn into a big mess and take longer than it would just to wait for a cab. But he promised to call the airline to check on my flight number and to be there on time etc. etc. So I agreed.

The first night he met me at the airport he jumped out of the car, grabbed my suitcase, gave me this huge smile and said "Yah, you like me picking you up at the airport, don't you???" It was so cute I nearly swooned. So now I have his cell phone number and I just call him directly whenever I need a ride. He lives only four blocks from me, so I never have to give him directions. And his name is even Mo, but only because he's Egyptian.


2. I just got back from another sales conference I attended with my colleagues. The 3jesus97 lady and I have actually become very good friends, and she giggled like a schoolgirl when I told her my 11 years with Poor George are like 30 straight years.


3. The people that invited us to this sales conference are assholes. They were supposed to be "helping" us; instead, they presented a bunch of bullshit, then made each of us stand up and give a short demo on one of our products so that they could "evaluate" us, American Idol style, and choose a "winner" based on who gave the "best" presentation.

I don't mind contests when they are based on hard & fast data, e.g. on who sold the most or something like that. But to stand up and be judged and compared to colleagues based on nothing other than whom the judges decide they like the best is just offensive. Since no one likes me, of course I did not win which is all the more reason I should be annoyed.

Next time they invite me to one of these I'm going to announce that we, the attendees, will evaluate each speaker and select the "best" at the end of the meeting. And the award will be a swift kick in the ass, but I'll present one of those to each of them on accounta I'm egalitarian.


4. I had a dream this morning that we were meeting our friend Bradley at an outdoor opera, and he arrived wearing a Brunhilde helmet. As we were walking toward the amphitheater, a bunch of frat boys grabbed Bradley's helmet and ran away with it. Bradley looked so forlorn that I took after the boys to try to get the helmet back. I never caught them, but I did run into this guy from my high school who used to taunt me for being gay and then whose father later got in trouble for molesting teenage boys. What a dick. (The part about the guy with the molester father is true, although it is only in my dream that I ran into him.)


Love,
CP