Monday, October 27, 2008

I'm married!

PG's hand on top of CP's. You can't tell from the picture, but our rings are white gold.

Gentle Readers,

I never ever thought I would see this day. I am almost entirely beyond words at this point, so this post will be short.

The day I met Mindy June, playing Trivial Pursuit at college back in 1984, I never would have imagined in a million years that she would, twenty-four years later, be standing in the middle of a park in San Diego pronouncing me legally married to a guy I loved.

In 1984 I never ever would have imagined myself standing amongst a circle of twenty-two beloved friends and family members getting married to Poor George. Yet it did happen, on October 25, 2008!

Poor George left for New York this morning, where he will have to live, apart from me, for the next few months while he sorts out our affairs there. PG was followed by my sister and her husband. And this afternoon I said farewell to my parents and to Mindy June; everyone had to travel a long distance back to their own lives. I cried for half an hour after the last good-bye.

I don't know why I should feel so sad, because marrying George was one of the happiest moments of my life. I guess it's just the rush of emotion after such an emotional weekend. But even with the post-partum sadness, I wouldn't trade this weekend for anything in the world.

Mindy did such a beautiful job with the ceremony that I can't yet describe it adequately. Instead, I simply suggest you read her transcript here.

I'll blog more details about everything once I've gotten a grip on myself.

Love to you all,


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Five Things I Hate is back!

Gentle Readers,

Many of you remember Five Things I Hate, the blog where you can rant, anonymously, about the things you hate in our world. But not everyone knew that I was the wizard behind the curtain of that particular blog.

I had let Five Things I Hate fall by the wayside for a number of reasons, none of them very good ones. (I hate that!) Then eventually I just assumed Yahoo! had turned off the email account associated with Five Things I Hate due to lack of use - and so I stopped trying. (I hate that!)

Well, as many of you know, I am getting married to Poor George on Saturday! Last night I got a sore throat, so I am facing the possibility of having a cold during my marriage weekend. I hate that! I hate it so much that I thought to myself "self, I wish you could post that on Five Things I Hate."

So I logged on, and lo and behold it still works! (I don't hate that!)

So go ahead and proceed to email me the five things you hate to As often as you'd like.

We maintain a strict privacy and anonymity policy at Five Things I Hate. We will NEVER divulge the email, identity or any other information about the people who email us their putrid bile. This is meant to be a community art project and as such the integrity of the project is sacred to us, the proprietors of Five Things I Hate. So as long as you don't give anything away to divulge yourself, your hatred is safe here with us.

As always, we reserve the right to deny posts that are just too offensive. E.g. a post that lists "N***ers, fags, women and Jews" will not likely make the grade.

So, Gentle Readers, let's hear it. We want your bile. Today.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Last fling before I get hitched

I don't know what it is about Pink that has always thrilled me. It's not that often that I fall for a girl, but this one just drives me insane. I'm so glad this song has been getting so much replay because I think it's one of her best - and if you're anything like me, her every movement in this performance just shudders with sensuality.

I don't know why I've fallen so hard for this woman. Probably because she's a guy.

Poor George, will you forgive me?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Please help fight the bigots in California!

UPDATE! See Mindy June's blog for an important post on this topic!

Gentle Readers,

It breaks my heart that this is happening. Right wingers are just so bent on hurting gay people that they are going out of their way to try to solidify their bigotry and hatred right into California's state constitution by eliminating the newly-acquired right of same-sex couples to marry.

I have been watching the TV commercials the right wingers have paid for and they SICKEN me. Scare tactics that all hell will break loose if the fags & dykes continue to marry. Messages that we are forcing our lifestyle on the schools and children, etc. It makes me so mad I want to kill someone.

What really burns me is that something like this does NOTHING AT ALL to help them. Nothing, that is aside from quenching their thirst to do harm to others for no good reason.


You can also click here to learn more and to donate!

Thank you, Gentle Readers.



Sunday, October 12, 2008

My life would seem sad if it weren't funny

I was telling Mindy June yesterday that I had finally reached the "oh fuck, I moved" freak-out phase which is an inevitable part of any significant relocation. It came about as I was tackling my first home-improvement project, which is to open all twelve of the painted-shut windows in our new fixer-upper house.

I had gone shopping for supplies at Lowes on Friday night after having my In-N-Out Double Double, alone, where I sat next to a teen couple that I assumed to be newly dating. I was practicing my eavesdropping skills, which don't come easy to me these days as I grow increasingly hard of hearing wherever there's background noise.

Just as I was grasping the late-teen drama as it unfolded, I up and spilled my root beer, creating a coolio dark brown waterfall over the edge of the table. It would have been really pretty had it not splashed the legs of my teen dining neighbors and caused a general commotion in the surrounding area.

The kids were nice about it, but the whole thing made me feel like a sad-sack middle-aged loser without a dinner date. Of course this didn't stop me from refilling my root beer and finishing all my food. I also hope I set a good example for all the teens in the restaurant by thoroughly sopping up my mess with a stack of wet napkins.

After dinner I proceeded on to Lowes where I spent $200 on sundry house supplies such as garden clippers, trash cans, putty knives, box cutters, razor blades and the like. I dropped it all off at my house before proceeding "home" to the apartment I rented for a few months so that I could have a clean place to live while I get the house ready for regular habitation.

Yesterday afternoon I began the task of opening the windows. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say I now have two fully opened windows and one which I got open two inches before breaking the window pane, which will now require my purchasing two new windows on that side of the house. (I know I only broke one window, but they will have to match on accounta I'm a gay man.)

That process took about two hours, which is fine except that it was REALLY REALLY BORING. And I was all alone. Lonely, sad-sack house-poor me. Poor George won't be able to get here until early 2009, so this is my life until then: really boring house tasks that I have to do all by my sad, sad self. I called Mindy June.

"You've been working hard all week getting settled, shopping for a car and all that. Maybe you should take the night off and do something relaxing or something that you enjoy," she said. Great advice. I wasn't really in the mood for much, but all day I had been craving some Mike's Hard Lemonade - I love that stuff. I decided to get a six-pack, some fish tacos and tamales and rent a movie or two to watch back at the apartment.

In about an hour I was sitting on the couch in my temporary apartment watching "The Office" and "Superbad," eating tacos and tamales with Cool Ranch Doritos and drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. I capped off my meal with a Kit-Kat bar and some new-fangled combination Butterfinger-Reeses thing that I was not very impressed with.

The lemonade didn't make me drunk, but I must have been a little tipsy or something because by the end of the night, after drinking four of them, I grabbed my laptop and started composing a deeply felt blog entry on the moral worthiness of the movie "Superbad." I didn't finish it because I was distracted by an impulse to play a few rounds of Yahoo! Pop & Drop, after which I lost the inspiration to write. Probably a good thing, but the fact remains that my life has temporarily been reduced to drinking alone while eating junk food and watching silly teen movies.

Hmmm, it doesn't really sound that bad now that I describe it. I guess I'll let you, my Gentle Readers, decide.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

San Diego days

Some statistics from this past week:

Number of times moved to San Diego: 1

Number of nights laid awake wondering if there were ghosts in temporary living space: 1

Number of taco-stand meals eaten: 4 (5 if you count lunch at El Pollo Loco)

Number of In-N-Out Double-Doubles consumed: 2

Number of days gone commando due to failure to pack underwear: 3

Number of times almost flashed the general public due to faulty zipper: 7

Number of Saab convertibles test driven: 3

Number of Saab convertibles purchased: 1

Number of Saab convertible sellers pissed off by my failure to purchase: 2

Number of swimming pools in my back yard: 1

Number of Blackberrys I ruined by dropping in pool: 1

Number of cats and boyfriends I am going mad without: 3

Number of dollars I will have spent before this whole relocation-new house thing is over: 5 zillion