My Crazy Eights

Bubsicle (my new nick-name for him) named me as one of his Crazy-Eights. No one really calls it the “Crazy Eights” – I’m just being a dork as usual.

It’s just a tag game where Bubs professed his undying love for my blog (and seven other blogs) and I’m supposed to return the favor. Glad to – I have so many great blogs on my list that I can’t even keep up with them all.

I’m supposed to post THESE WORDS:

“These bloggers are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find
and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that
when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated.
Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight
bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into
the body of their award.”

and the picture at the heading of this post – that is your award, bloggies. My eight are supposed to do likewise with their Crazy-Eights.

With that, here are a few of my besties, my crazy-about-ya-eights, in completely random order:

Grizzbabe’s Den – this gal has a good soul

The Pop Eye - everyone nominates her but I know she feels neglected by me so I’m hoping this will make up for it

A Twist of Lemon – I am simply charmed by his use of only partial words

Gifts from a Broad – cracks me the f*ck up

Social Zymurgy: The Culture of Beer – Doc is my hero

Tenacious S – another real life bestie

Prone to Whimsy – Flan and I are real life besties now

Two Minutes in the Box – she goes on great vacations and didn’t really mean to ignore me in Chicago that one time.

This time the meme's on me

I just made up this meme to pass the time while I'm tired. If you read my blog, you are tagged but you should comment to make sure I pop over to read up.

1. How old were you the first time you had sex? Were you alone?

2. When is the last time you threw up? Bulimic episodes don't count. But tell us what happened, how long you felt sick before you gave it up to the porcelain god, and what color it was.

3. Describe the meanest thing you've ever done. If you could still get arrested for it today, you are excused. But then you have to tell us the second meanest thing you've ever done.

4. Have you ever told a complete stranger something pretty personal about yourself and then later had about two hemmorhages apiece because you were embarrassed? Describe. And be sure to tell us the pretty personal thing or you don't get credit for answering this question.

5. Have you ever picked up a trick at a bar and then when you got him or her into clear light you thought "oh God, no!" and then told him or her that you had to leave to drive your parents to the airport, knowing full well he or she wouldn't believe you?

6. Tell us about your experiences with re-gifting. Were you on the giving or receiving end?

7. Poor George says he actually remembers being in Mama Gin's womb as a fetus. Should we believe him or not? What is the earlist memory you have?

My answers are below.

Love and coasters,

CP

1. 16 was my first time with a person. It just sort of happened, and I regretted it. Still do. Things were very awkward after that and we never spoke again.

2. This is a gross. What a disgusting question. Why on earth would you write something like this, CP? Anyway, the last time I threw up was a few years ago when I ate some cheap Chinese take-out. I didn't feel sick for very long - all at once I was in the bathroom blowing major chunks. It was nasty. So nasty that I --- well, never mind.

3. Too many mean things to count. One mean thing I still feel bad about was when I made fun of my younger cousin in front of all her friends at her own birthday party. She had been crying a few days before that because one of her friends had called her a "dumb dumb" and I thought it was really funny so I kept imitating her crying and saying "Kathy called me a dumb dumb!" I was only 10, but still, what a complete little shit.

4. One time in law school I told a complete stranger this barely relevant story about how one time I was late to kindergarten and we had a substitute teacher that day and I got all upset because I thought I was in the wrong classroom. I told this story in front of about 10 other people, and no one made any reply at all. Then I felt shame.

5. No, but there have been too many times when I wish I had done that.

6. Just recently at an office party where we had a grab bag, I loudly proclaimed the one I received to be a re-gift based on the age of the box it came in. Someone groaned, and now everyone thinks I'm an asshole.

7. I think Poor George is making it up, but if it is true we should offer him up for medical experiments. My earliest memory is sitting on the couch eating toast. I kept saying "I'm two and I'm having toast."

Wow, that was all really stupid.

CP has a new policy on Memes

This picture has nothing to do with this post. This is my new dining set that I bought for a song at a consignment shop. It's vaguely Mission style so it fits the style of my house. There is a beautiful wood inlay design on the top that you can't see in this picture. It's also currently located in my office (above) because I don't yet have a functioning dining room. Do you like my paint job? (Please ignore the inner parts of the window frames, as I was unable to get to them to paint them, and I was lucky enough just to get these three windows open let alone take on the project to remove the frames for painting.)

Gentle Readers,





Many of us do Memes, which can be fun. Sometimes we tag each other to do the Memes. (And for the record, I've gone all German with the word Memes and have decided it should be Capitalized on accounta it's a noun, but only because it's a noun that screams to have something all German done to it.)





Most of you know I'm horrible at responding to tags. I have a hard time making the rounds to all my beloved stalkees, and sometimes I don't even know I've been tagged until weeks later and then I feel like an ass. (Mainly because I am an ass, but it just make it worse.)





And now I can't even get Technorati to work any more to tell me when someone mentions me in a blog post, so if anyone has suggestions on how I can be more timely alerted to such things I will be your second best friend. (On accounta you probably already have a first best friend.)





Since posting takes effort and I'm generally unwilling to make any on accounta I'm a lazy son-of-a-bitch, I now declare the following policy: If you tag me in a Meme, or if you just do a Meme and I happen to stop by your place, I too will do the Meme, but in your comments section rather than making my own post.





See here for my first installment.





Love and coasters,


CP

Another meme

I stole this from the incomparable Katie Schwartz, and then coincidentally got tagged to do it by Eebie.

1. Ten years ago, what were you doing?

Finishing my first year of law school. Sweating over my Civil Procedure final. Heinous class, and it was year-long so I had to remember shit from back in September. I got a B-minus which in law school is pretty much like an F-plus.


2. Five things on today's to-do list

a. Call back this customer who wanted to know something about our products (not done)

b. Call back one of my regional sales managers (done and it was a really annoying conversation)

c. Go pick up some pain meds from the pharmacy (not done but very much looking forward to it, even though I'm not in pain)

d. Sort through work email that came in while I was out of town (not done)

e. Find new customers to sell shit to (not done)



3. Several things I'd do if I were a billionaire

a. Donate to a lot of worthy causes. (Ok, so everyone knows I have to say that first or else I'm some kind of asshole, right? If I were as noble as Katie I'd enumerate them, but the way I see it there is so much suffering in the world I am not sure right now which projects would take priority.)

b. If I came into this money suddenly I'd put it all in the name of a trust so that I would remain anonymous about it.

c. Buy real estate in several places around the world where I want to live part time.

d. Found some kind of non-profit and staff it with people I know and trust to run it well. I'd pay them handsomely too.

e. Throw fabulous parties all over the world and fly our favorite people there to party with us.

f. Do volunteer work and take language classes.


4. Three bad habits

a. Procrastination

b. Obsessing over pointless shit

c. Snapping at people when I'm under stress


5. Five places I've lived

a. South Dakota

b. Minnesota

c. Illinois

d. California

e. Washington DC


6. Five jobs I've had

a. Piano teacher

b. The guy who scrapes up all sorts of shit from the floor of a meatpacking plant

c. Telephone survey operator -truly a job from hell

d. Cocktail waiter - making money while smoking and drinking is the way to go if you ask me

e. Large New York firm attorney - hell on Earth

100 Things I Have Done part 1

This is Diana Scarwid. She is not scary.

I was loitering at the blog of Gizmorox the other day when I came across a meme where she had to tell of 100 things she has done in her life. Pretty cool, I thought, and so I decided to do the same. I suppose this will be kind of like my 100 Things about Me post from a few years ago, but with a slightly different focus.

Technically you're supposed to write about 100 amazing things you have done in your life, but as I consider all of life amazing, some of these things may seem rather ordinary to the rest of you. Drink up.

I don't have the attention span to think up 100 new things all at once, so this is going to have to come in installments. Which you know will take me over a year to finish.


Oh, and y'all are tagged to do the same.


100 (Amazing?) Things I Have Done

1. Once, when I was about four, I found a huge wad of chewed gum in our yard. It looked really inviting, yet I knew I was not supposed to eat stuff that I found on the ground. I picked it up and just held it, and figured it wouldn't hurt just to take a quick chomp on part of it while holding onto the rest of it. I liked it. So I took another chomp. Yum. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I had the whole thing in my mouth and was chewing away happily.

Ok, that sounded kind of dirty.

2. One time, when I was a teenager, I purposely turned up our stereo very loud just to see if my parents would make me turn it down. They just closed the kitchen door. I guess it was because I almost never listened to loud rock music and they were glad I was starting to appear normal.

3. Very occasionally, if I become very active without having eaten anything, I am overcome by an intense migraine headache. One morning I was very busy and had to shop for a new car. I was in the final negotiation stage of a purchase when the massive headache hit me. I was hunched over, head in my hands, and the salesman was asking what the problem was. "Low blood sugar, I need something to eat," I was barely able to mutter without throwing up. He ran across the street to get me a sandwich, and then I was fine within 10 minutes. I've never understood exactly why that happens, or at least why it happens so randomly.

4. In high school I used to write my friend Gretchen these horrible notes about how I wasn't going to be her friend any more, but then would never give them to her.

5. One time I was picking my nose (in private.) I got ahold of a small piece, and when I pulled on it out came a looooong string of dry crust that had been stuck all the way up my sinuses. It was outstanding.

6. My third grade Sunday school teacher asked us all to share something that made us feel afraid. When we were done sharing, she told us it made her afraid to see a black man on the street at night. I never told my parents about this.

7. When my cat Samantha disappeared, my dad took me to the local shelter to look for her. When we saw she wasn't there, he said "you can have another cat if you want." I replied tearily, and much more loudly than I had intended, "I don't WANT another cat." Everyone in the room turned and looked at me sadly.

8. When I was living in France I was invited to a "black tie" party, though I didn't know it was black tie because the word in French for tuxedo is "costume." People kept telling me I'd need a "costume" for the party, so I would just tell them not to worry and that I would go dressed as a monster or something. I didn't end up going. I think the people inviting me retracted the invitation because they thought I was insane.

9. When I was 16 I allowed myself to be seduced by this older girl who looked like Diana Scarwid. Ok, she was only a year older but it was still scary. Not Diana Scarwid, but the girl.

10. I completely forgot to go to a piano competition I was supposed to compete in one time. My piano teacher was not happy, but really wanted me to enter so she convinced a judge that I had been sick and the judge let me come play for her at her house. I don't remember the outcome.



Stay tuned for part 2.

Katelah meemish redux

The charmingly talented Katie Schwartz is at it with the memes again. I like these random ones, so hell, I'll play. Here's eight random things about me for the enjoyment of my Gentle Readers. Enjoy the gawker slowdown.

1. I've always hated the word "balls" in reference to the male anatomy. I find that word to be incredibly vulgar. I don't know why.

2. Not a big fan of nipples either- the word or the real things, male or female. I assume this is because I wasn't breast fed. Oh, and if you touch mine, you die. I mean it.

3. I got fired from a job for drinking. It was only a summer job while I was in college, but I like to lead with that first sentence because it makes a bigger impact.

4. I was a goody-two-shoes namby-pants sometimes as a kid. One time when I was about 11 a kid rode up to me on his bike when I was out in front of my house. He stopped and said "Hi, do you know anyone who would like to fuck? Or do you know anyone who would like to buy pot?" I freaked out, said "I can't talk to you!" and ran into the house. I tried to tell my mom what happened but got hung up trying to explain what the kid had said without actually saying "fuck" to my mom. She kept trying to decipher what I was talking about until I gave up and went to my room.

5. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wake up and become convinced I'm going to die soon, and I start to freak out about it, wondering if it's a premonition. But I think it's only because I've been surrounded by so much death the past few years.

6. I have a theory that there is no middle ground on black licorice for 99.9% of the population. People either love it or hate it.

7. I secretly hate everyone who has ever interviewed me and then not offered me a job, but I don't feel the same way about those who have turned me down romantically.

8. The first time I was dumped as an adult sent me into such a tailspin of depression that I feared for my own life. I sought professional help and cleared out all sorts of crazy though, so it ended up being a good thing. Then the next time I got dumped I expected it to happen again but it didn't, which was proof to myself that I had healed sufficiently.

Please play, Gentle Readers. Post your eight things and remember to make them dirty.

Musical Meme Deux: Seven Songs

Tim Sommer & Alexandra Scott of Hi-Fi Sky

The ever musical Beth has tagged me this time. I thought this one would be hard, but it barely took any thought - just a quick look at the Ipod and recent memories of sitting at the piano.

The exercise here is simply to discuss seven songs you are currently enjoying in your life.


* Goodbye Sarah Shu (John Vanderslice)
John is currently my boyfriend. I like his music. I like it that he's (still) small enough to play the intimate clubs. And I LOVE it that he gets upset with people who talk while he's performing. One time he stopped playing in the middle of a song and asked some people who were having a loud conversation near the stage to take it outside. I'm going to see him this week in Brooklyn.


* Dance of the Blessed Spirits from "Orfeo & Euridice" (Abbey Simon, piano)
This is a piano transcription by Abram Chasins of a beautiful melody from the Gluck opera. Mr. Simons performed this piece at a concert I attended a few years ago, and he moved the entire audience to tears. Being the inspired musician I am, the next day I tried to order a copy of the music, but sadly discovered it was out of print. So I began calling out-of-print music stores, and was repeatedly told "sorry, we don't have it."

Finally, a nice gentleman at a store in New York suggested I call Mr. Chasins' widow, who still lives in the city. He also strongly encouraged me NOT to tell Mrs. Chasins where I got her number. And I can see why; she sounded like a crabby old lady when I got her on the phone. "What, you're probably calling about that damn Gluck piece aren't you? Well I don't know if I have any more copies. I'll do what I can. Give me your address." (click.) But a few days later I did indeed receive a copy from her in the mail, free of charge. I haven't completely learned it yet, but it's a work in progress.


* Cemetery Gates (The Beautiful Mistake)
This is from a compilation cd of various artists' interpretations of songs by The Smiths. Although I've always liked this song, I particularly enjoy this version because it's the first time I understood the words "while Wilde is on mine."


* I Want to Be Buried in Your Backyard (Nightmare of You)
This is a Long Island band I discovered fairly recently. Catchy little ditties. I always think of our blogger friends Chris and Megan when I hear this particular song, because it's a guy singing to his girlfriend, Megan, about wanting to be buried in her backyard when he dies so that he can make the flowers grow for her. I thought about sharing it with them back when they got together, but it seemed kind of morbid. Cheers.


* Fuck and Run (CP on the piano, a la Liz Phair)
This will be next in my home concert series, as soon as we get a new digicam. Stay tuned.


* Belle Louisiane (Hi-Fi Sky)
This is a space-age rendition of a traditional French Cajun song. I first heard it on NPR when I was driving home in a bad mood due to hating the guts of various sales reps. It calmed my angry spirit. I also enjoyed listening to the Cajun French, which for some reason I had thought would be difficult to understand. Belle Louisiane, je chante mon coeur pour toi. Ouvre tes bras et serre ton cher enfant...


* Sad Songs & Waltzes (Cake)
A great little ditty from a great little band.

I tag: My sister. And in honor of the creepy song I am now dedicating to them, I also tag Megan and Chris.

Music Meme

Dale tagged me. I normally don't play along on these music tags, but for Dale, anything.

What was the first recorded music you bought?

A 45 of "Disco Duck" by Rick Dees, 1976.


What was the last music you bought?
I downloaded three albums from iTunes the night before I went to see Mindy:

• Elliott Yamin: (self-titled debut) - worth a listen.
• Gladys Knight: Before Me - her new jazz album
• Belinda Carlisle: Voilà - new album of French standards, sung entirely in French. How could one possibly resist this?
  

What was the first "professional" music show you ever went to?
Chicago Symphony Orchestra. Don't remember what they performed.


What was the last?
Beat Circus at a small club in NYC. A friend of ours plays in the band.


What's your "desert island" album?
Impossible to answer; how could you not get sick of only one album? But if I had to grab something on the way out of a burning building, it would probably be

Nat King Cole Trio: After Midnight


Dave Brubeck Quartet: Time Out


Red Hot & Blue: Tribute to Cole Porter


What's your favorite album/song title? (the *title* , not the actual album or song).
Like Dale, didn't give this much thought. I'd probably say "Not Fade Away" by Buddy Holly, because it's just a strange song title. Simple and strange. Just like me.


What's your favourite album art (include an image of it if you can)?
See Brubeck's "Time Out" above. Also, who could ever forget this?


Ideal choice for a karaoke song?
Me and Mrs. Jones, especially when my Mom sings it.


Song you don't like that WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR HEAD if you hear it.
Every Breath You Take. Blech.


Which is cooler? -- Vinyl? CD? Cassette? 8-track?
Which is cooler? What is this, junior high? If I had to choose I would say 8-track. Mindy's parents had one and we listened to a Barry Manilow 8-track during dinner the first time I visited her family. When Mindy started belting out "Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?" along with Barry, at the top of her lungs, her mom made us turn it off. Good times.



I tag Mindy June and Katie Schwartz.