Saturday, January 24, 2009

This time the meme's on me



I just made up this meme to pass the time while I'm tired. If you read my blog, you are tagged but you should comment to make sure I pop over to read up.



1. How old were you the first time you had sex? Were you alone?


2. When is the last time you threw up? Bulimic episodes don't count. But tell us what happened, how long you felt sick before you gave it up to the porcelain god, and what color it was.


3. Describe the meanest thing you've ever done. If you could still get arrested for it today, you are excused. But then you have to tell us the second meanest thing you've ever done.


4. Have you ever told a complete stranger something pretty personal about yourself and then later had about two hemmorhages apiece because you were embarrassed? Describe. And be sure to tell us the pretty personal thing or you don't get credit for answering this question.


5. Have you ever picked up a trick at a bar and then when you got him or her into clear light you thought "oh God, no!" and then told him or her that you had to leave to drive your parents to the airport, knowing full well he or she wouldn't believe you?


6. Tell us about your experiences with re-gifting. Were you on the giving or receiving end?


7. Poor George says he actually remembers being in Mama Gin's womb as a fetus. Should we believe him or not? What is the earlist memory you have?




My answers are below.

Love and coasters,



CP



1. 16 was my first time with a person. It just sort of happened, and I regretted it. Still do. Things were very awkward after that and we never spoke again.



2. This is a gross. What a disgusting question. Why on earth would you write something like this, CP? Anyway, the last time I threw up was a few years ago when I ate some cheap Chinese take-out. I didn't feel sick for very long - all at once I was in the bathroom blowing major chunks. It was nasty. So nasty that I --- well, never mind.



3. Too many mean things to count. One mean thing I still feel bad about was when I made fun of my younger cousin in front of all her friends at her own birthday party. She had been crying a few days before that because one of her friends had called her a "dumb dumb" and I thought it was really funny so I kept imitating her crying and saying "Kathy called me a dumb dumb!" I was only 10, but still, what a complete little shit.



4. One time in law school I told a complete stranger this barely relevant story about how one time I was late to kindergarten and we had a substitute teacher that day and I got all upset because I thought I was in the wrong classroom. I told this story in front of about 10 other people, and no one made any reply at all. Then I felt shame.



5. No, but there have been too many times when I wish I had done that.



6. Just recently at an office party where we had a grab bag, I loudly proclaimed the one I received to be a re-gift based on the age of the box it came in. Someone groaned, and now everyone thinks I'm an asshole.



7. I think Poor George is making it up, but if it is true we should offer him up for medical experiments. My earliest memory is sitting on the couch eating toast. I kept saying "I'm two and I'm having toast."





Wow, that was all really stupid.



13 comments:

Tanya Espanya said...

First!!!@!! woot!!!

hahah!

Love this meme, darling!

Anyway, if I have a chance, I will also do this. Am packing up the luggages, will be there in one week!

When you have a second can you please give your contact details, and let's start planning when I can slobber on you guys!

smoochies!

Bubs said...

I hereby christen this "The Mortification Meme". Or maybe "Meme of Mortification", I think they both work.

This is some compelling stuff here, CP. I'm going to wrestle with this all weekend before I respond. But respond I will.

I believe Poor George. I think that any time spent in proximity to Mama Gin would brand one permanently, so imagine what a psychic impression it would leave to have actually been trapped inside her body?

Dale said...

It's okay that I laughed and laughed through your answers right? I may be too frightened to answer the questions but not as frightened as you should be of giving Tanya Espanya your contact info :-)

SkylersDad said...

Away I go to the writer garret, this should be fun!

PS: That is how you spell garret, right?

jin said...

Done!

Eebie said...

Fahh..., if I replied you'd see how pathetic my life is.

I will say I recall watching Johnny Carson and some guest shared of a memory in the womb. Seems more wishful thinking as I doubt much memory is developed by then, still I'm only guessing.

Distributorcap said...

the things you learn from memes..... maybe they should be used in schools

SkylersDad said...

I decided to break meme law and just answer here, so sue me!

1. How old were you the first time you had sex? Were you alone?

First time with a partner was 18, not for a lack of trying though, I just have no game.


2. When is the last time you threw up? Bulimic episodes don't count. But tell us what happened, how long you felt sick before you gave it up to the porcelain god, and what color it was.

The last time was a stomach flu that I was sure was going to kill me. I threw up lunch, I threw up the breakfast before that, and by the time I finished I threw up a cafeteria lunch from 7th grade.


3. Describe the meanest thing you've ever done. If you could still get arrested for it today, you are excused. But then you have to tell us the second meanest thing you've ever done.

As a little kid, a bunch of friends came to my house, including one that we didn't like. I shut the door on him before he came in. I still think about what an ass I was that day.


4. Have you ever told a complete stranger something pretty personal about yourself and then later had about two hemmorhages apiece because you were embarrassed? Describe. And be sure to tell us the pretty personal thing or you don't get credit for answering this question.

I told a lady on the bus I was squirming around in my seat because I had just had surgery "down there". Does that count?


5. Have you ever picked up a trick at a bar and then when you got him or her into clear light you thought "oh God, no!" and then told him or her that you had to leave to drive your parents to the airport, knowing full well he or she wouldn't believe you?

No, but under the influence of much liquor, I woke up next to a lady that had to go 250 pounds - easy!


6. Tell us about your experiences with re-gifting. Were you on the giving or receiving end?

I have received lots of stuff, but only re-gift after asking somebody if they like it or want it.


7. Poor George says he actually remembers being in Mama Gin's womb as a fetus. Should we believe him or not? What is the earlist memory you have?

My grandpa on my moms side, he had a big booming voice and huge eyebrows which scared me!

PG said...

Bubs understands me, I am considering a conversion to Mormonism, Bubs will you marry me?

michaelg said...

I tackled #3 on my blog. It was the only thing I could answer without other readers perhaps recognizing themselves, especially the first sex. No, it wasn't Mindy.

Coaster Punchman said...

Skyler's Dad, you are the first to give me a genuinely mean thing. Jin and Michael G both did the meme, and the things they reported were KIND OF mean but they were also both done to people who deserved it, which takes away from the meanness points.

Is my public shaming of MichaelG and Jin mean enough?

michaelg said...

Okay, okay. Shame works on me. I was raised Lutheran.
How's this for mean? I gave a five minute raised voice lecture recently to our wheelchair bound MS stricken neighbor lady about not being able to control her three big dogs. (Is this a theme? Me yelling at disabled folks?)
And just for added measure, I'll take on #2: In front of MNMoms house on the 4th of July last year- food bourne illness- hashbrowns, salsa, corn and bratwurst.
#5 I can't do because I was that trick for so many, many, many, many people.

SouthernBelle said...

Hahahahha, I liked how you berated yourself for asking such a gross question.

I'm just going to tell you my BEST vomit story instead of the most recent.

I was 10 years old and I was visiting the US (I grew up in Australia but live here now). We visited some kind of candy store. I was given a large bag of many flavored taffy. I'm a bit sketchy on the imperial system but I'm gonna say it was about 2 pounds. I ate about 2/3 of the bag.

Later that evening, all of it decided to exit via the same way it got in. I was going "*vomit* Wow, look at *cough* all the colors *sob**vomit* Hey, blue! *vomit*"