Saturday, March 29, 2008

100 Things I Have Done part 1


This is Diana Scarwid. She is not scary.

I was loitering at the blog of Gizmorox the other day when I came across a meme where she had to tell of 100 things she has done in her life. Pretty cool, I thought, and so I decided to do the same. I suppose this will be kind of like my 100 Things about Me post from a few years ago, but with a slightly different focus.

Technically you're supposed to write about 100 amazing things you have done in your life, but as I consider all of life amazing, some of these things may seem rather ordinary to the rest of you. Drink up.

I don't have the attention span to think up 100 new things all at once, so this is going to have to come in installments. Which you know will take me over a year to finish.


Oh, and y'all are tagged to do the same.


100 (Amazing?) Things I Have Done

1. Once, when I was about four, I found a huge wad of chewed gum in our yard. It looked really inviting, yet I knew I was not supposed to eat stuff that I found on the ground. I picked it up and just held it, and figured it wouldn't hurt just to take a quick chomp on part of it while holding onto the rest of it. I liked it. So I took another chomp. Yum. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I had the whole thing in my mouth and was chewing away happily.

Ok, that sounded kind of dirty.

2. One time, when I was a teenager, I purposely turned up our stereo very loud just to see if my parents would make me turn it down. They just closed the kitchen door. I guess it was because I almost never listened to loud rock music and they were glad I was starting to appear normal.

3. Very occasionally, if I become very active without having eaten anything, I am overcome by an intense migraine headache. One morning I was very busy and had to shop for a new car. I was in the final negotiation stage of a purchase when the massive headache hit me. I was hunched over, head in my hands, and the salesman was asking what the problem was. "Low blood sugar, I need something to eat," I was barely able to mutter without throwing up. He ran across the street to get me a sandwich, and then I was fine within 10 minutes. I've never understood exactly why that happens, or at least why it happens so randomly.

4. In high school I used to write my friend Gretchen these horrible notes about how I wasn't going to be her friend any more, but then would never give them to her.

5. One time I was picking my nose (in private.) I got ahold of a small piece, and when I pulled on it out came a looooong string of dry crust that had been stuck all the way up my sinuses. It was outstanding.

6. My third grade Sunday school teacher asked us all to share something that made us feel afraid. When we were done sharing, she told us it made her afraid to see a black man on the street at night. I never told my parents about this.

7. When my cat Samantha disappeared, my dad took me to the local shelter to look for her. When we saw she wasn't there, he said "you can have another cat if you want." I replied tearily, and much more loudly than I had intended, "I don't WANT another cat." Everyone in the room turned and looked at me sadly.

8. When I was living in France I was invited to a "black tie" party, though I didn't know it was black tie because the word in French for tuxedo is "costume." People kept telling me I'd need a "costume" for the party, so I would just tell them not to worry and that I would go dressed as a monster or something. I didn't end up going. I think the people inviting me retracted the invitation because they thought I was insane.

9. When I was 16 I allowed myself to be seduced by this older girl who looked like Diana Scarwid. Ok, she was only a year older but it was still scary. Not Diana Scarwid, but the girl.

10. I completely forgot to go to a piano competition I was supposed to compete in one time. My piano teacher was not happy, but really wanted me to enter so she convinced a judge that I had been sick and the judge let me come play for her at her house. I don't remember the outcome.



Stay tuned for part 2.

20 comments:

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I laughed out loud at your French "costume" story.

I like this meme as it can be dragged out when I'm low on blog fodder and stretched over a long period of time.

The Freelance Guru said...

Hmm, I'm scared when I see anybody at night. Especially anyone I know. They might try and talk to me.

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

I may have to pinch this...

And long, crusty booger stories are perfect.

Mnmom said...

I love when people pick their noses in their car, like we can't all see them!!

Eebie said...

Thanks for sharing CP, cool stuff! (I think Diana Scarwid is pretty hot.)

Dale said...

It looks like Diana's been using wire hangers, will she never learn?

Do you still have the notes? You could drag those out too!

Roger Kaputnik said...

#3 -- Did you buy the car? You probably should've if the salesman bought you a sandwich.

wonderturtle said...

I think #7 and #8 are my favorites. Also, each of these could totally be performed at some poetry slam event with a good sense of humor.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

So this is a ten part series then and seeing as how infrequently you update this blog I'd say we'll see the last part sometime in the winter of 2014.

BeckEye said...

I would be hard pressed to come up with 10 amazing things I've done.

deadspot said...

Diana Scarwid is so good in Wonderfalls. I want them to make the second season for me, even if nobody will air it.

Alan said...

My favorite Diana Scarwid movie was "Strange Invaders" with Paul LeMat. I saw it a few months ago while channel-surfing. Talk about CAMP. But my 15 yo self didn't know that back when it first aired (or whenever it was). So when imprisoned on the mothership, about to be whisked away forever from the family, she told her daughter "just like Mommy taught you!" and her little hybrid human girl shot lightning out of her fingertips to effect a quite lackluster escape, I became a committed geek for life.

Oh, and #5 is indeed quite a wonderful satisfaction. Unspooling the long ones from way up in the passages is akin to ejaculation.

Or so I've heard. o.O

pg said...

I don't know this person.

GrizzBabe said...

I thought I was gonna hurl after #1, but managed to hold it together. I lost it at #5.

Chris said...

7 and 8 balanced each other out for funny and sad....is this a yin/yang list?

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm grossed out by #5 also. I tell myself to remove it, but then is it art?

Alan said...

FIE!! on removing #5! Nothing is more satisfying! It's like giving birth! Or so I'm told...

Grant Miller said...

Diana Scarwid is a little creepy, too.

Jake's Mom said...

I haven't read in a while, this gave me a good laugh and i think I threw up a bit in my throat. I didn't know you could be so gross. Are you sure we are related? Do not ever let the nose picker story out!

Bluez said...

Dude! You have balls telling that booger story. I can't beat that but I'll try this one.