Sunday, July 08, 2007
CP Adopts an Actor
Our blogger pal Splotchy has requested that members of the greater blogging community each adopt an actor-in-need. I understand the term "actor-in-need" to be open to various interpretations. Perhaps your adoptee could be an unsung character actor whose role makes that classic cult movie, yet your actor still has to park cars and wait tables to make it by. Or perhaps....I don't know, make up your own examples because I don't really give a shit.
Coaster Punchman's World hereby officially adopts Kim Walker. Sure, Ms. Walker died of a brain tumor back in 2001, but that's no reason she should not enjoy an eternal resting place here at CPW, the Internet's warmest and most welcoming webspace. If we're lucky, she may even decide to haunt us.
I have been obsessed with Ms. Walker ever since her brilliant portrayal of the blond Heather Chandler in one of the 20th century's greatest cinematic works, Heathers.
Ms. Walker was responsible for the delivery of the film's greatest lines, forever burned into the brain of CP, to the delight and sometimes chagrin of all his cohorts:
Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?
Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? First you ask if you can be red, knowing that I'm always red....
Come on Heather, let's have another look at today's lunch.
Monday morning, you're history. I'll tell everyone about tonight. Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.
I get you into a Remington party, and where is my thanks? It's all over the hallway carpet. I was paid in puke.
They all want me, as a friend or a fuck.
You wanted to be a member of the most powerful clique in school. If I wasn't already the head of it I'd want the same thing.
Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.
No one really knows whether Ms. Walker would have grown into a well rounded actress if she had not expired before her time. Regardless, we here at CPW will forever sing her praises for her outstanding performance in Heathers, and we will continue to scour late night television for reruns of her sundry other film and TV appearances.
Rest in peace, Heather. I mean Kim.