My name is Tom, but you can call me Coaster Punchman. The name came about 18 years ago when I was (gasp!) a twenty year old St. Olaf College student obsessed with the necessity of using coasters for beverages on coffee and end tables. I would go into histrionics when friends would visit my dorm room and fail to use coasters.
One night my friend Chuck was hosting a party where he served a bastardization of Wapitui Punch, or WAP. According to Log & Timber Style Magazine, Wapitui Punch is a fruity concoction of various delicious ingredients. But to St. Olaf College students circa 1985, WAP was a revolting mixture of whatever alcoholic beverages one could find. Generally, the MO for a WAP party was to have all your guests bring something to contribute to the punch. So the results could really vary depending on how cheap or tasteless your friends were. Usually by the time the last guest arrived you would have a perfectly vile combination of beer, vodka, red Hi-C, orange juice, Southern Comfort and Gallo wine. Many drank, all vomited later.
Being a bit of a control queen at age 20, I tried to supervise the creation of Chuck's WAP punch, and admonished both my host and his guests for their failure to either provide or use coasters in connection with this gala affair in Chuck's dorm room. As a reward for my preoccupation with both the WAP punch and coasters, I earned the nickname Coaster Punchman. It has a catchy ring, so I don't mind it.