Friday, February 10, 2006

Is it just me?

I feel like I have so liittle energy these days compared to 20 or even 10 years ago. I am ill today, so it's not a perfect example of how I normally feel. But every little thing I have to do feels like it takes an enormous effort.

It could be because I have a "fun" job that I usually like, but it's also one of those jobs that is literally impossible to do "perfectly." Which means that if you have any hint of a perfectionist in you, you'll drive yourself crazy thinking about all the things you "should" be doing.

At the end of the week, I am officially "done" and am ready to sit on my couch. I used to look forward to going out after work, and it was always very important to have at least two social outings arranged every weekend. Now I feel happiest when I have nothing planned.

I'm not sure if I'm OD (officially depressed) or if I'm just old. 2005 did suck very badly, so maybe I'm still rebounding. But I seem to remember the low energy thing coming on in late 2004 when I moved to the job I have now. Maybe it's the job.

Isn't it weird to think that a job you like might be the thing dragging you down?

Maybe I don't really like this job but am trying to convince myself that I do. Hmm. Entire lives have been constructed on that premise.


lulu said...

I think it's a combination of things. You had a really horrible year. Death and Moving are two of the bigest stressors out there, and you had to deal with both. it's no wonder you're tired. Plus, it's Winter. No sun, crappy weather, all the post-holiday let-down. Curl up with a good book and eat some soup, you'll feel better in the spring.

Tenacious S said...

OLD and OD feel very similar as far as I can tell. Although having lived through a couple of tough years myself, the crash comes when it is over. Your body has this great way of upping the energy to get you through it, but collapses when it's done. It is a biological fact and the natural consequence of stress. So, I'm here to tell you that you probably will feel better. Exercise helps too.