Monday, January 07, 2008

My childhood ex-neighbor Jenny is a total bitch

Trevor in his box.


My new friend Chris over at Inane Thoughts and Insane Ramblings recently bought a new dryer and let his little boy Trevor play in the box.



I am nearly green with envy.



Playing in huge boxes was the coolest thing ever - probably even cooler than building a fort out of sofa cushions and assorted furniture. It probably still is that cool or little Trevor wouldn't be sitting all high & mighty in his box right now.



This post of Chris's reminded me of the time my mom had a new refrigerator delivered to our house. It was the summer before I started 7th grade, when I was 12. My next-door-neighbor, Jenny, was 10.



Jenny and I had been best buds in earlier years, but as we both approached adolescence we didn't hang out so much any more. Not that I didn't want to, but she and her other little friends were starting to do that tween all-girl thing where they would hang out in the bathroom for hours washing each others' hair and trying on bras and stuff. I was totally excluded. Probably a good thing too, because I'd make a hideous drag queen.



Anyway, on this particularly beautiful summer day when I was 12, I hadn't spoken with Jenny for months and months. But about 30 minutes after our new refrigerator arrived, she showed up at my door with her new best friend from down the street, Joanne. I was really happy to see her because I missed hanging out with her, and I was becoming too nerdy for anyone else to want to spend time with me.



"Hey Jenny! How are you?" I said as I opened the door. "Hi, Joanne," I added, a bit less enthusiastically.



"Hi."



"What's going on? Do you want to come in?"



"Did you get a new refrigerator?" Jenny asked.



"Yes, it's really nice- want to see it?"



"No. Do you still have the box?"



"The box?"



"Yeah, you know, the box the refrigerator came in."



"Oh, no, the delivery guys took it away with the old refrigerator."



"Oh, ok. We thought maybe we could play in it. See ya later." They turned to leave.



"You guys, wait!" I called out. "We can do something else if you want!"



"That's ok, we just wanted to see if you had the box. Talk to you soon."





I didn't think much of it at the time because I was used to that sort of thing, being the geek that I was. But tonight, after seeing Chris's post about Trevor and the Box, I came to the conclusion that my childhood ex-neighbor Jenny is a total bitch.



I suppose some scars will never heal.



Sigh.

25 comments:

Flannery Alden said...

Jenny's are always bitches, aren't they...

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My brain cannot remove the word box from it's use to describe girl parts so I'm giggling as I'm typing my 2 thoughts on this post:

- she was only using you for your giant box - what a bitch...

- we used to open our big boxes and rub them with wax and use them as sleds in the summer.

michaelg said...

In my venn diagram the Jenny circle is fully in the Bitch circle.
My Jenny-bitch developed a crush on my first boyfriend, only she didn't know he was my boyfriend. When she found out, she outed me, before I wanted to be, to every resident of small town Iowa that she could get her hands on. Jennys- all bad all the time.

Writeprocrastinator said...

What a junior wench.

Dig it, look her up, right? Find out her number and have an auto-dialer call her up at all times of the day, with that "867-5309" song...over and over.

We don't have fridge boxes here in S.F. Because of the real estate prices, anything that's bigger than a fridge box, is immediately converted into a condo.

Alan said...

But -- but -- what about Jennifer Aniston? Don't we love her? And Jennifer Lopez? Even better when she was Jenny from the bloc--

*!!!!!*

DUDE!!

Jennifer Lopez only wanted you for your BOX?!?!

SCORE!!!!!!!

GETkristiLOVE said...

She's not a bitch, she just wanted two minutes in the box - nothing wrong with that!

Chaylene said...

I hate it when people try to use me for my box.

Wait...no I don't.

Keith Kennedy said...

I'd look her up on the Bureau of Prison's website and send her a picture of you playing in a box.

The bitch!

Hot Lemon said...

I've got a book for you: Christina Katerina and the Box. Classic. Might give Trevor there some ideas...

Dino aka Katy said...

mhh you know we are planning on redoing our kitchen in a few years - you are welcome to the box of our new refrigerator

Beth said...

Bitch.

Grant Miller said...

This is such a sad story CP. We bought a fridge a few years ago. The box stayed in our living room - as a fort - for about a month or two.

Dale said...

I loved the less enthusiastic Hi Joanne. If only you'd been practicing to be a boxer at the time.

Mountjoy said...

I'm with The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch on this one: "box" will always trigger my potty mind to think of something that is neither cardboard nor square.

Creepy said...

I'm a big fan of allowing kids to play in old refrigerators.

Mnmom said...

My Mom let us have reams of green stamps to put IN the box. They made great space craft control panels. So yes, I had green stamps in my box. Hardy Har Har Har.

Someone ought to do a scientific poll on this Jenny=Bitch phenom. Same with Brad=Dickhead.

Madam Z said...

I hate Jenny. I'm gonna scribble all over her with my red marker!

Chris said...

Damn, CP, sorry that Trevor dragged up the old Jenny story. You want I should have him beat up her honor student :) ?

By the way, that box has met its demise. Trevor figured out that it fit nicely into the basement stairs and spent an afternoon 'sledding' downstairs until said box disintergrated.

Great post as always. What? I'm not biased 'cause my kids in it. Ok, maybe a bit;)

Eebie said...

I'd make her pay...in the box, yeah!

Tenacious S said...

Do you have some sympathy for us girls and the minefield we had to navigate in the tween years? God, it sucked. Sorry about the rejection you faced. I bet you're a lot cooler now and have more friends (who are also much cooler than any friends she has, and we don't need a refrigerator box to seal the deal).

Coaster Punchman said...

Yes, I have sympathy for the nice ones - and it was girls like Jenny setting up the minefields for the rest of you! (And some of the boys too, apparently) Actually I was a pr*ck to many people when I was a kid so I'm not one to point fingers, but pointing fingers of the name of the game over here at CPW.

Pirelli Jones said...

How did you escape further scarring from your atrocious parents letting the delivery man take away momma's new box?

BeckEye said...

You should've just invited her to play in the refrigerator. That woulda learned her.

GrizzBabe said...

I wonder what sort of game Jenny and Joanne were going to play in that box? Hmmmmm...

Bluez said...

I heard Jenny is married to a big fat Insurance broker who rips people off calling himself an 'investment counselor' then takes peoples money and hides it in a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands and has 2 stripper mistress's BOTH with babies he supports as well as Jenny and the 2 sets of twins, and when he does show up at home he beats Jenny with a wooden spoon so it doesn't leave marks. Jenny has been to rehab TWICE and she's still a bitch!




Oh wait, that was Jenny from my soap opera. Sorry