Thursday, April 07, 2011

Greetings from the land of "I feel like sh*t"

I have been sick with a nasty cold since Sunday, and it’s one of those evil spring flus that creep up very slowly and get progressively worse until you feel like begging Dr. Kevorkian to make a house call.

I hate being sick. Really, really hate it, and especially this time. It’s so damn inconvenient, and aside from the benefit of being able to avoid most aspects of work and household duties, I derive no pleasure out of this at all. Even laying on the sofa watching “Glee” reruns on my Roku has not made me feel better.

I cannot get comfortable no matter what I do. I can barely speak because my throat hurts so much. Lying down makes me want to stand up. Standing or sitting makes me want to lie down. Even Lunesta isn't helping me get a full night's sleep because I wake myself up coughing my guts out every 20 minutes.

I can see why some people say “you either get better or you die” and I take comfort in that sentiment because holy Jesus, I would not want to live my life feeling this way for any significant amount of time.

The funny thing is I don’t even really believe in illness. I’m slightly Mary Baker Eddy that way – minus the part about the Bible. I believe that people make themselves ill because somewhere deep down they want to be ill to avoid having to take responsibility for anything. I believe that if you don’t want to be ill, you don’t have to be, and that you can take all the proactive steps to avoid illness such as eating correctly and getting enough exercise to keep those white blood cells circulating around your body to ward off pathogens. And getting enough sleep. Et cetera.

I am not always 100% effective at following my anti-illness regime, but I still think I deserve an A for effort. So when a cold like this comes from out of nowhere and kicks my ass, it is especially frustrating. I feel like crying out to the Universe “Hey! What gives? I’m really trying here!”

I have a number of theories on why I get sick more often than I think I deserve. I’ve been reading about body ph and how you need your ph to be slightly basic to avoid illness --- and most of the foods I love (all the good stuff that most Americans love) are ones that cause your body to be more acidic.

I also think I have a sleep disorder due to snoring, like about 75% of the adult male population. I don’t want to get one of those horrendous-looking sleep machines, mainly because I think you have to sleep on your back to use them, and I hate sleeping on my back. But maybe I can train myself.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me vent. I’m quite displeased right now, because I’m in one of those states where I feel like I will never get better. But this too shall pass. Blech. (cough cough)


michaelg said...

Poor George.

Coaster Punchman said...

Well, I'm with ya there, except for the fact that PG is 10x worse than me when he is sick. And when he gets cold he has it for-ev-er.

Dale said...

What is a Roku? I could do a search for it but somehow I feel better making you take responsibility for explaining.

Hope you feel better soon. If it were true that illness was a way of avoiding responsibility, I'd be sick all the time, or dead by this late stage!

Coaster Punchman said...

Oh Dale, Roku will change your life. You hook it up to your TV and to your Internet connection (via cable or wireless) and then you can watch Netflix on Demand on your TV. Pretty awesome. The only negative thing is that their on demand selection is a lot more limited than their DVD - but there is still a lot of good stuff, tv etc. Get one today! Or don't they let you have Netflix in Canada? Communists!

BeckEye said...

Bitch, please. If I made myself sick just because I wanted to avoid responsibility, I would be sick every day of my life.

I hope you're feeling better soon. And I hope you're not driving Poor George crazy.

PG said...

Poor George will be checking in to an asylum soon...Thank you Michael for understanding. This is one nasty cold and even the Punchman is being very punchy, I have the bruises to prove it....

Mnmom said...

I've heard that rubbing Vick's vaporub on the soles of your feet stops night time coughing. People swear by it.

Take care. Get the tissues with the lotion on them.

Megan said...

The offspring's got the same thing. If he gives it to me I will not be happy!

Do you have a humidifier? Those things are the bomb.

Hope you feel better soon!

Doc said...

Missed you at Flash Fiction Friday this week ol' friend. I'm sorry to hear you're laid up. Perhaps this isn't the right prescription, but I find beer and Bogart movies help. Perhaps tea and The Price Is Right. Have PG make you some soup. If that doesn't work, ask for a morphine drip. It cures nothing but you just don't care. Get very well.


Dale said...

Netflix is now allowed across the border CP so I guess we're evolving. I hear that the selection due to copyright issues or something though is quite limited. Even with Turner Classic Movies on tv, every day or two, there's be a BLACKOUT IN EFFECT message depending on the movie. So silly. The Roku sounds sexy though! Please don't sneeze on it.