CP's Pretend Interviews with Bloggers - Lulu turns the tables
Normally around this time CP would pretend to sit down with former blogger and current West African superstar Lulu to ask her a load of embarrassing questions, but tonight we have a reverse format where Lulu is going to pretend to interview CP. At least that's the intention; one never knows the twists and turns these things can take.
Lulu: So CP, I hear you're a little depressed these days. What is going on, and what makes you think this is appropriate fodder for a blog?
CP: You mean everyone doesn't want to listen to the soothing, plaintive sounds of my ennui?
Lulu: Nice word, CP - you do recall you learned that from me, don't you?
CP: Well it's actually just a derivative of a French word that I learned long before I ever met you, Lu. I did learn a thing or two in my pre-Lulian existence. But you may have been one of the first in my circle to make regular use of the English version, and for that I thank you. Heartily.
Lulu: Touché, CP. So you're a bit off these days, as a polite person might put it?
CP: Yeah, I guess so. But I'm sure I'll bounce back. I'm considering taking a week off work and reorganizing my house. That's the kind of thing that can give me a lift and shock me back into reality.
Lulu: I've been to reality CP, and it's no picnic. If you've found somewhere else to live for a while, you might want to just hunker down until the storm passes. Plus, this thing about you wanting to "organize" things is giving me hives.
CP: Sorry Lu, I forgot that it wasn't all about me. So, what suggestions do you have for me other than to go off on a compulsive decluttering binge?
Lulu: I don't know CP, this whole thing is just you pretending to be me asking you questions. But I can see your alter-ego trying to take control of the interview, so tell me whatever you'd like. Just try not to sound psychotic. This whole "reality" discussion is starting to give me the creeps.
CP: You're not going to complain that I'm making you sound like a bitch again, are you?
Lulu: I've given up any hope of that. So, what is next on your agenda?
CP: I'm not sure. I think I'll try to slog through my emails to make sure I haven't skipped anything that would result in a fireable offense. I'll take care of my expense reports and a few other administrative duties that are several weeks late. Then I'll schedule some time out of the office so that I can declutter and try to pull it back together.
Lulu: That sounds like a plan. Pretend to be me again in a few weeks and let me know how things turn out.
CP: Thanks Lu. Any closing words of wisdom for me?
Lulu: Post as many cat pics as possible Kiss kiss.
I am Coaster Punchman and you have just entered my world. I rule it with an iron fist, so if you're looking for First Amendment protection, you will not find it here. I have a now deceased crazy Chinese mother-in-law, and sometimes I wear Crocs around the house. I don't like flip-flops or Mormons. I'm also a cyberstalker by trade -- so I could look up all sorts of random shit about you if I wanted, but I probably won't because I'm pretty lazy.