Saturday, September 06, 2008

My sweet love


A few years back our marketing department had a secretary with social skills rivaling those of Napoleon Dynamite, not to mention all the charm of Joseph Mengele. I'd never seen anyone so cold and abrupt in her interpersonal dealings. Greeting her with a soft "good morning" when walking by her desk might get you a barely audible grunt on a good day.

Latrelle would occasionally be tasked with the duty of notifying the rest of the office whenever new marketing materials or other items became available. These emails would usually consist of the following, as an example:

Go get new user guides in the storage room. (Unsigned.)

One time we had all ordered a supply of personalized desk calendars to hand out to our biggest customers, and they were all sent to Latrelle's attention. The day they arrived I received the following personalized email, with a cc: to her manager:

Come pick up your calendars.

After chuckling for a minute over Latrelle's unparalleled charm, I received an email from Latrelle's manager, albeit in error. (You know, the dreaded Reply All misstep.) This is what it said:

Latrelle, my sweet love. Can you please try to sweeten the tone of these emails a little? They come across a bit harsh. Perhaps you can simply mention that the calendars have arrived, and at their convenience they can stop by your desk to pick them up. Thanks!

My sweet love.
Especially when used in an email to correct someone's behavior. I love it! And I have adopted its use as an all around practice. So don't be surprised, both ladies and gentlemen, when I address you as such in both posts and comments. Not to mention real life.

My sweet loves.

16 comments:

Doc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flannery Alden said...

I love "reply all" errors! So delightfully inappropriate and illuminating.

PG said...

Dear CP, er, "mys sweet love"

Please try to be more loving during these stressful times...

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

I am sooo pinching this for all occasions! Esp. at work!! and esp. esp. when dealing with my soon-2B-ex wife!!

ha!

Dale said...

My sweet Lord!

Chris said...

Perhaps he was actually banging her and the "my sweet love" was legitimate? ;)

Madam Z said...

I'll bet that was the first time in Latrelle's entire life that someone called her "my sweet love." Her poor little shriveled heart probably skipped a beat.

But you didn't tell us whether the manager's note had the desired affect. What happened?

P.S. I like your illustration. Its title should be "Two Cherries Making Love."

Cormac Brown said...

(in a voice like Goofy's)
Gawrsh, Coaster, I didn't know you cared.

Tanya Espanya said...

I would like to know what my sweet love Doc said and then deleted...

BeckEye said...

Reply all errors are fantastic. When I used to work for an unnamed retail health supplement chain (rhymes with BMT), this one guy sent a bunch of softcore porn pictures to his entire department, instead of just the one guy he was trying to send them to. He was a pretty high-up employee, but he still got fired.

Doc said...

As I read this it warmed cockles in my heart that I didn't even know I had. I think it was in the sub-cockle area.

Then suddenly the cat barfed on the rug and it ruined the moment.

Forgive me, but I felt obliged to share, My Sweet Love.

Doc

GETkristiLOVE said...

Great story. Am I the only one that didn't know who Joseph Mengele was?

Distributorcap said...

wasnt my sweet love plaigarize from some song called He's so okay?

LOL

Mnmom said...

So sweet, my love

Grant Miller said...

Are you sure that wasn't an email from me?

PG said...

My sweet love can sure be crabby at times....