Thursday, April 02, 2009

Another awkward tale from my youth - part 3

This is where I lured my date



I don't remember much about my first dinner with Jeff Henderson, except the fact that I was too nervous to pay attention to anything he said. I also ate like a bird in those days, and even more so when I was wound up (which I was about something or other, most of the time.)



Jeff and I would enjoy many more dinners together, and one time he commented on the paltriness of my food tray, which consisted of a bare dinner plate with one thin slice of ham accompanied by a side dish of about three lettuce leaves and a glass of milk.


"Is that all you're having, Tom?" he asked. I didn't even understand the question. How could ANYONE eat at a time like this? Of course it was usually a "time like this" for no one but me.



Returning to the topic of our first dinner date, although I barely listened to most of what Jeff said because I couldn't focus, I did manage to keep my ears perked up for clues to such relevant items as "does he like girls?" and "where does he spend his evening hours?" While his like or dislike for females remained frustratingly obscure to me, I did manage to remember that he worked in a small student-run snack bar on campus every Friday night.



And so of course, the Friday after I learned this precious gem of a tidbit, I suddenly became hungry for a snack at about 8:30 - or a half hour before the snack bar was to close.


"Hey, Tom! How's it going?" Jeff called out from behind the counter when I entered the all but deserted snack bar.


"Hey Jeff, not too much, how about you? Working much longer?"


"Nah, I'm just about to close this place down. Want something to eat?"




Of course I wasn't able to eat a thing, but I did stand next to the counter, making small talk about God-knows-what for the next 20 minutes. I'm actually quite proud of my ability to become social upon demand. Normally, given the choice, I keep my nose in a book or glued to the TV set or in the face of someone who's known me for 20 years. I've never felt comfortable talking to new people.


But when you're paying me a salary, or scaring me to death because I like you and really want you to like me, I can become quite the empty conversationalist. Comes in handy in my sales-related work. And it used to come in handy when I was still dating. Or trying to date.


I rambled on at Jeff about miscellaneous topics until he had his coat on and was shutting off the lights. I simply walked with him to the exit and out into the night, as if we had planned it all along.


"What are you up to now, Jeff?" I asked.


"I don't know, really, what about you?" he replied, proving to me that God did in fact exist.


"Well, my roommates are away and I was thinking of lighting up a joint and chilling out...want to come?"


I was just a little bit of a pothead in those days, which is odd, considering what a bundle of nerves I usually was. It makes me afraid to think of what the world could have been like for me without the wacky tobacky to even out the rough edges.


And although I don't remember doing so specifically, I must have vetted Jeff beforehand for his position on marijuana, or else I never would have asked a question like that.


"Sure, that sounds good!"


Off I went with Jeff to my dorm room, happy yet beside myself in the knowledge that my roommates were out of town for the weekend.







....to be continued.......


13 comments:

michaelg said...

Ooooh. This is getting good. Did you have your first sex under the influence like I did?

Bubs said...

YOU AND YOUR G*DDAM CLIFFHANGERS...

Dale said...

New people suck. I wonder if Jeff does? Sorry, that's the drugs talking.

Coaster Punchman said...

Dale, remember CPW is a family-friendly blog!

Doc said...

Could you drag this out just a little more? I still have fingernails on one hand that need to be gnawed off.

This story has everything! The potential for young love and illicit sex, drugs, scintillating conversation, plots and machinations, choir practice! It's got it all! I'm just wondering how you are going to get to the part where Alissa Milbert sucks your balls and why you would want her to, or were there others that you would rather perform this sucking?. Was this a stoned game of spin-the-bottle gone horribly wrong?

I am on tenterhooks, and it's not just because I spilled my tacklebox!

Doc

Mnmom said...

I am reliving young love anxiety right along with you!! Now I don't feel like quite such a stalker knowing you did the same things in college. Part 4 . . . NOW!!!!

Coaster Punchman said...

Doc, it's a complicated tale you're helping me weave! Actually I'm stringing you along on two completely separate series, which I realize is unfair, but that's life here at CPW. One series is on the awkward romantic tale; the other is on how Alissa Milbert can suck my balls. I'll post again on both soon.

If you were a stalker MNMom, CPW is the place for you! (See my tag line.)

PG said...

I can't wait for the part where Mama Gin barges in ranting about marriage and babies....

Dino aka Katy said...

you know its not fair to just leave us hanging. sorry for the lack of commeting tend to do the feed reader thing lately. thanks for visiting. One of these days you got to give me some tips for NYC - I just got 13 clinics assigned in and around NY. I'll be back there week after next. Seen anymore stars?

Coaster Punchman said...

Hi all, testing me new profile pic... hope y'all like the new look...

Bubs said...

LOVE the new layout! Nice job!

wonderturtle said...

Hey I like the new layout! And I can't wait for the next installment...

Distributorcap said...

and on the next episode of One Coaster to Live