This is not our house, but it may as well be. I really need to check in with my Beloved and Gentle Readers more often. Every now and again I go back and read some old post of mine and then I see the comments which are usually funnier than the post. I laugh and laugh, and then think "why don't we do this any more?" Then I down half a bottle of vodka and call it a night.
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I hate what Proposition 8 has done to my personality. It has made the world black and white for me. Everyone is either with me or against me. Every person I see on the street, I think "I wonder how he voted on Prop 8?" Sometimes I automatically assume someone voted "Yes on 8" based on their haircut, and then I spend ten minutes feeling violent hatred toward them. This can't be healthy.
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My life is really, really dull right now. I work during the day (pretty much a 9-5 schedule unless I have to drive to Orange County in which case I get home later) and then spend between two and four hours in the evening making repairs to our new house. Being Mr. Fix-It and Mr. Painter and Mr. "Open-the-fucking-painted-shut-windows" is REALLY BORING, especially when I'm doing it all alone. At least if Poor George were here it might be more bearable. But right now I'm cursing the fact that we bought a fixer-upper. I am ready to be done with all of it and enjoy the fruits of my labor. Ha, that'll be the day.
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The people we bought the house from should be lined up and shot for their criminal sense of style and color. Every room was painted in some barf tone, and there are all these "adorable" little accents like light switch covers with flowers all over them. Giving this house a makeover will be one of the nicest things I've ever done for humanity. No one should ever have had to look at this shit.
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It's kind of rude of me to complain about my house with the terrible state of the economy, with people losing their houses left and right. But I never claimed to be a nice guy.
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Good night.
27 comments:
You should put together a post of the pictures of the great decorating disasters that were in the house. We could all join in the mocking!!
Who would have thought a gay guy would be complaining about his decor.
The people who got Prop 8 on the ballot should also be "lined up and shot." I would like to impose a law that has just four words:
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
Oh, wait...maybe FIVE words:
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, ASSHOLES!
Buy yourself a contractor for Christmas so you can spend more time on the rage and holic stuff! If I was handy in any possible way, I'd offer to help.
Monkey Man, you have it all wrong - I'm complaining about OTHER peoples' decor. That's about as gay as you can get. (Ok, belting outloud every lyric to the Original Broadway Cast Album "Annie" is technically as gay as you can get, but we're not discussing that right now.)
Oh, maybe you were being sarcastic. Heh heh. It's early and I still don't own a coffee maker. And I'm looking forward to a whole day of painting. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. (How long before I get one of those warning screens slapped on my blog?)
WARNING! Your spouse is not happy that you are about to torch the house before he even moves into it. Step away from the pilot light, slowly now, step away from the pilot light....
I agree with Skyler's Dad. Some before (and after) photos would be nice. We could all empathize more fully with what you're going through. We're here for you, CP. After all, if you can't count on people you've never met who leave comments on your blog, who can you count on?
It sounds like you could use some company. I may be in your neck of the woods next month and I'm really good at mocking decor and blaming Mel Gibson for things. I'm sure I could peg him for proposition 8.
Hang in there buddy.
Xoxox
M
Having vodka while painting is handy, you can use it as paint thinner!
I couldn't help but think "thinner" is what a Mormon with a lisp would call you for voting against Prop 8. (sorry, couldn't resist)
OOOOH! I want before/after photos... but not as much as I want the people who voted yes on Prop 8 to be shot! Hmm... tough times, tough decisions...
I feel your pain on the neverending house repairs and for paying pennance for someone else's decorating sins. Almost our entire abode (that would be 8 rooms!) was painted "Urine Yellow" when we moved in... Sadly, the color still remains in two bedrooms and a bathroom. I shudder to think about it and avoid those rooms as much as humanly possible. There is only enough spackle one girl can wield in a calendar year.
Aw, darnit...My housewarming present for you and PG was going to be some Thomas Kincaid paintings and Precious Moments figurines...Now what do I do?
"The people we bought the house from should be lined up and shot for their criminal sense of style and color."
Maybe they were color-blind and the paint clerk finally found some suckers to dump those paints off on.
I felt that way after the Pres. elections of '00 and '04.
But I thought teh gays love to decorate!
PLEASE post the before and after photos, and you after the half bottle of vodka.
I like deciding if people voted for or against Prop8 based on haircuts. It's like Sharon deciding she didn't like Bruce's college roommate because he looked like the kind of guy who might wear a Van Halen Tee-shirt.
You coming home for Christmas? I have a wedding gift for you.
Inferring how people voted based on haircuts reminds me of us in college, making snap judgements of others based on how trendy and or large their sweaters were.
My house when I bought it was "country". The previous owner also put around 1000 nailholes in the walls to hang little framed pieces of lace. The life-sized doll in a rocking chair in the living room scared the crap out of me the first time I came down the stairs. EVERY room was wallpapered with at least 2 different papers plus a border/chair rail. I should have bought stock in DIF.
All the previous owners of our house left us was pubic hair in the upstairs bathtub.
Oh, and they painted over EVERY outlet. Every.Last.One.
Fuckers.
Why don't we start a Prop 9 in which all people with the decor taste of your previous owner are banned from existence.
I suppose a couple of deer heads and camoflage drapes wouldn't do anything to spruce it up. Maybe an Arab Harem theme with lots of red and brass would be out of the question. Well, that's it. I'm out of ideas. Good luck!
Doc
I used to think angry thoughts about people on the sidewalks of New York just because they were on the sidewalks and New York made me hostile. At least you have a good reason for your rage.
I hope you guys at least get to spend Thanksgiving together.
That's why you rent a fancy place that's been totally redone by a nice man with excellent taste in appliances and a full understanding of the need for many outlets and cable jacks in each room. Then the night you move in you can flick on the gas fireplace and eat a pizza while you take a break from unpacking the 30,000 boxes of dishes and kitchen items you should have disposed of before you moved to England.
Bubbie, you want to kvetch, go right ahead.
You have every right to be pissed off about Prop 8. I wonder how people voted, too, especially because Obama swept the election in CA. It baffles the mind how someone can "punch" one column for change and "punch" another to eviscerate basic civil rights. How does a person do that and look themselves in the mirror?
Mazel Tov on the house -- Sorry it's so much work. Oy vey. If we were naybahs, I'd help with the DIY stuff. One day it will be exactly what you want it to be.
PS: Consider a punching bag. Hitting is very healing.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Dear Gentle Readers of the CP:
Thank you for your kind words of support. The CP has been greatly affected by the Prop 8 passing and it manifests itself in strange vengeful decorating ways. Nevertheless, there is so much to be thankful for and I wish all of you a happpy and healthy holiday season.
"But I never claimed to be a nice guy."
Well, I beg to differ. You and Poor George are nice guys. It was wonderful meeting you two last year at the blogger gathering.
The fight ain't over my friend. This is a basic civil rights issue. Remember that voters were induced to voting for a painfully inept president by fear and lies in 2000 and 2004. They got it better this time. They used fear and lies to pass "Proposition Hate." It can be reversed, and I suspect that it won't stand up to a court challenge.
And don't forget that you've got a lot of people on your side. Even a lot of us straight people.
Hey CP, Happy Thanksgiving!
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