Some of my Gentle Readers have been complaining that CPW has been too serious lately, what with all this political talk. Nothing like stripping people of their civil rights to kill a party- that's what we always said in my house growing up!
So I'm taking a break from pleading for your support to overturn Proposition 8, and will instead relate to you an amusing tale my pal Michael recently shared with me about his father's white trash relatives in Minnesota.
One Christmas, one of Michael's uncles offered to "host" the extended family for a party on Christmas Eve day. When the day arrived, people were told to convene at the local bowling alley instead of at the uncle's house.
When Michael and his parents and siblings arrived at the bowling alley they discovered a group of their white trash relatives mingling in the bar area; the uncle hadn't even reserved private lanes for them to bowl in. It was basically like any other Friday night in Cow-Shit Minnesota.
After Michael had resigned to relax and enjoy himself, one of his cousins came up to him and said "Hey Michael, someone's choking your brother over there."
Michael turned around and saw a large plaid-shirted lumberjack attempting to squeeze the very life out of his small-framed brother. By the time he went over to intervene, several other men had already tackled the lumberjack, setting the blue-faced brother free to retch and try to catch his breath.
Michael asked him what happened.
"Well, he was being really obnoxious trying to talk to Darla, and it seemed like she wanted him to leave her alone. So I went over and stood between them."
Apparently the lumberjack said "my, you're fragile little man" and proceeded to choke him.
Yeah, that's Christmas with the trashy relatives. Good times.