I'm in Sunny Eagan Minnesota

Eagan Minnesota sucks. It's cold and there are no restaurants to speak of. One of my colleagues from New Jersey asked a local cop where she could get some Italian food and he tried to send her to the Olive Garden. Now she's all pissed. What did she expect?

Coaster gets pissed

My friend Mindy June moved to England, and she done stole my idea to start a blog. She even went so far as to use false dates on her entries to make it look like she started her blog before I started mine. It reminds me of how when we were in college she used to pretend she didn't like any new band that she wasn't the first of her friends to discover. But she redeemed herself by liking Beulah at my suggestion, so I'll forgive her this transgression. Plus, I miss her and constantly worry about her developing bad teeth now that she's a Blimey & all.

Coaster Punchman is born

My name is Tom, but you can call me Coaster Punchman. The name came about 18 years ago when I was (gasp!) a twenty year old St. Olaf College student obsessed with the necessity of using coasters for beverages on coffee and end tables. I would go into histrionics when friends would visit my dorm room and fail to use coasters.

One night my friend Chuck was hosting a party where he served a bastardization of Wapitui Punch, or WAP. According to Log & Timber Style Magazine, Wapitui Punch is a fruity concoction of various delicious ingredients. But to St. Olaf College students circa 1985, WAP was a revolting mixture of whatever alcoholic beverages one could find. Generally, the MO for a WAP party was to have all your guests bring something to contribute to the punch. So the results could really vary depending on how cheap or tasteless your friends were. Usually by the time the last guest arrived you would have a perfectly vile combination of beer, vodka, red Hi-C, orange juice, Southern Comfort and Gallo wine. Many drank, all vomited later.

Being a bit of a control queen at age 20, I tried to supervise the creation of Chuck's WAP punch, and admonished both my host and his guests for their failure to either provide or use coasters in connection with this gala affair in Chuck's dorm room. As a reward for my preoccupation with both the WAP punch and coasters, I earned the nickname Coaster Punchman. It has a catchy ring, so I don't mind it.

MTM your friends and loved ones!

Coaster Punchman's World offers a free and unique Mary-Tyler-Moore'ing service. If you have a friend or loved one in need, CP will phone him or her and perform, live, his rendition of Mary Tyler Moore's theme song.

Being MTM'd by CP has been described as, among other things, "a mystical cure all." See CPW, comment by Melinda June (October 8, 2006).


MTM'ing your friend or loved one is easy. Just follow these simple steps:

1. Email your friend's name and phone number to CP at cp.marytylermoore@yahoo.com.

2. CP will phone your friend and perform Mary's theme song.

3. Your friend will be magically cured of whatever ails him or her.



Note: CP adheres to a strict privacy policy. Phone numbers will be held in the strictest confidence, and will be destroyed immediately upon a successful MTM'ing.

For the history and philosophies behind CP's MTM Project, click here.

Mindy's Briticisms

Our friend Mindy June moved to England about a year ago. On her blog she uses British spelling and phrases. This will be an ongoing list of Mindy's Briticism Sitings.



1/31/06
neighbourhood

1/24/06
humour
10 February
neighbourhood
I can type for England
she's a good laugh

1/23/06
programme
plug-wire

1/13/06
1115 and 1130

Nora

Nora Spooksmodel

The Cocktail Files

PLANTER'S PUNCH
Squeeze the juice of one lime (or 1.5 limes if you like it tart) into a collins glass. Add sugar or sugar syrup - up to a tablespoon's worth (more if the limes are especially tart.) Mix well. Add soda, about twice as much as the amount of lime juice. Add a bunch of ice cubes and stir until the glass becomes frosted. Throw in a few dashes of bitters, and fill the glass almost to the top with light rum (a shot or two.) Add more ice, then top with grenadine (I like to see the grenadine drizzle down over the ice cubes.) Garnish with lime wedges & whatever other fruit you have. DELICIOUS!