Friday, May 12, 2006

She is NOT a "Raytard"!

Mindy June & I both love Rachael Ray. Mindy made note of this in her blog a while back - how we decided that if we lived near Rachael and she wasn't a celebrity and all, she would be our friend.

I love Rachael. She's silly. I love how she does her show in real-time so that you know she's not cheating - she actually cranks out those meals in exactly 30 minutes. I love how she fills every inch of dead air space by making goofy noises. Lots of "woo's!" and that sort of thing.

She's basically a total spaz.

Julia Child she ain't, though. This girl is not about haute cuisine. I've learned a few little helpful kitchen tricks from her, but I certainly don't get excited about everything she does. She's a little too fond of cumin for my taste, and I am SO not signed on to the "wash all your produce the second you get home from the store." DUH! Does anyone actually do that? Produce goes bad at least twice as fast if you wash it before putting it in the fridge.

So you bascially have to add an extra 10-15 minutes to her agenda to account for produce washing, depending on how much you have to deal with.

Anyway, back to Rachael herself. She is definitely a low-brow cook. But she doesn't pretend to be anything else. Her 30-Minute Meals show is about one thing: teaching Americans to prepare ordinary homemade food for themselves every day, and to do it without a lot of ado. Unlike our friend Alton Brown, who has you rolling out pasta on your ironing board and making odd trips to the hardware store to find bizarre utensils to cook with, Rachael just lays it out for you in the real world. You don't need a fresh clean clay flower pot or garden shears to prepare her pork chops with cranberry apple chutney.

I have heard from various "friends" that they think Rachael is annoying. The giggling. The incessant prattle. The wide open mouth smile that makes her look like the Joker.

Yes, I can see how all of those things would annoy some people. And that's just fine with me, because it just gives her more reasons to be MY friend and not yours.

But anyway, I had heard so much general crabbing about her that I grew curious to see how much hatred there actually is for poor Rachael.

Oh my god. There are some real Rachael-haters out there. And they are not kind.

They are ALL OVER HER about absolutely everything. Her mannerisms. Her recipes. Her every kitchen technique. Her garbage bowl. Her frenetic race to get it all done in 30 minutes. The increasing appearance that she is coming unhinged, probably due to exhaustion.

What's worse is that she is regularly referred to as "Retchel Ray" and "Raytard."

Ok, how mean is THAT?

Well, here's to them. I don't care anymore what these terrible people say about her. Bring it on. There is enough Rachael-love out there to counter all of their putrid bile.

Rachael Ray is a Godess of Light. She is my muse. She deserves to be exalted and praised.

I love Rachael Ray!


jin said...

LOL @ "raytard"!!!
Sorry, I don't dislike her at all, it just sounds like someone, who has nothing better to do, decided to spend way too much time creating that nickname!

My favourite foodie....(shhh...don't tell my husband, he hates him!) Gordon Ramsey. Have you seen Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares? I think I love to hate him. He's really cruel. He makes people cry, in a funny sort of way; or maybe my sense of humour is slightly tarnished!!!

Coaster Punchman said...

I have heard of him, though I've never seen his show. Is it on BBC? I'll check it out. The Wikepedia article on him says he was born in 1966 which cannot be true, because that would make him younger than me - and in his pic he looks quite a bit older. Or God help me!

lulu said...

Ugh. Can't stand her. Can't stand her annoying laugh or the constant use of the letters e.v.o.o.

And I kinda thought I was your muse.


jin said...

Yes, BBC reruns...months ago. I'm not sure if he's still on. The series ran maybe 3-4 years ago, I believe at that time he was 30ish. I remember thinking he looked 40 something & was shocked when I heard his age.

I think you'd find him takes a certain type of humour!

Never got to make my tiramisu this weekend. :-(

Melinda June said...

Gordon Ramsey IS 40. But he's British, and I've told you a hundred times that it's like they age in a time-machine that accelerates, which is why they think I'm in my late 20's or early 30's. And he's got a show every six months or so here, so they'll eventually get to you. There's a good one where his kitchen competes with Gary Rhodes, another British cooking sensation. Lots of good celebrity chefs here, and their shows all make primetime. Right now they're competing nightly to cook for the Queen's big party this summer.

But none match the stellarness of our friend RACHEL! YAY RACHEL!

Coaster Punchman said...

Lu: you are also my muse. How could you ever think that you weren't?

Jin: from your blog it looks like you were too busy for tiramisu. Maybe next weekend.

MJ: We are just too beautiful. The Brits will never stop resenting us for it. But I can't wait to fly there and do nothing but watch their TV shows.

Anonymous said...

You have obviously just finished reading the Da Vinci code or something 'cause you obviously have got a serious case of goddess worship going on, sadly you chose Rachel as your holy grail and I believe her cup, er... rather her crock pot, runneth over like her show.....

pppppllllllltttthhhhhhppppp! wooo wooo

Melinda June said...

Anonymous is evil! It probably voted for Katherine McPhee.

Tenacious S said...

What happened to all your old posts? I wanted to laugh again. Damn. I liked the other format better, too. This one has too much scrolling. My inde finger gets tired (I have a touch pad mouse). Shall I complain some more?

Coaster Punchman said...

Hi Sharon,
I will take a survey of other CPW readers to see if I need a new template.

My old posts are still there, under "Archives" on the right side of the screen. Sometimes on certain browsers all the links etc. appear way at the bottom, so maybe that's what is going on?

Speaking of my OLD posts, where are your NEW posts? You have taken a much too long blogging vacation! And what about Edward's bday pics????

lulu said...

scroll down until you see your girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

And now even Mindy has turned on her recently. So much for friendship!