Thursday, June 22, 2006

I am a loser, with wine


It's always a bad day for me when I receive the Georgetown Law alumni magazine in the mail. The one I got today was especially distressing. Not only was I subjected to the usual litany of classmates who are busy saving the world or earning millions of dollars; I was also treated to the news that Georgetown Law has ten new distinguished professors this year - eight of them younger than me.

I am not saving the world. I am not earning millions of dollars, either. And I am certainly not planning on teaching law anytime soon. The only thing my fancy education seems to have produced is an increase in the quarterly number of phone calls I get from assorted relatives making thinly veiled pleas for money.

In general, my only successes of note consist of getting through my days without shouting at my sales counterparts in the publishing company I work for, making it to the gym for a moderate workout several times a week, and getting home with nothing more important to do other than uncork a nice bottle of pinot noir.

Wait.... maybe my life is ok after all. This wine fucking kicks ass.

Sorry world, you're going to have to call someone else.

14 comments:

jin said...

AH! Just think...you are also a good cook, am I right? I will bet none of those professors can make a meal like you can!

Also...imagine this:
you are having dinner with one of those 'millions of dollars' earners...you both order the oysters. You take one bite & instantly recognize that they are 'off', whereas, the rich dude doesn't know HOW they are supposed to taste & he eats them because "money can't buy taste". When he starts ralphing up his dinner, YOU cp will be the one laughing!!!

Coaster Punchman said...

Yes..... or at the very least I can sic my mother-in-law on him..... secret weapon!!!

wonderturtle said...

How many of THEM write a blog that brings joy to others??

During the Depression, it was the entertainers who truly kept people from jumping out of windows. Well, some people.

lulu said...

But are they happy?

Melinda June said...

Don't underrate the value of earning millions.

I'll tell you all about it in a few years, when you're cooking for me and keeping my house clean whilst I'm out supporting us all and buying us holidays to Phinda Game Reserve.

Remember, I'm going to be running Europe in five years.

Coaster Punchman said...

I have no problem with you running Europe, MJ. Will cigarette smoking be mandatory under your regime?

WT - yes, I suppose we do bring joy to the masses. Or the "little people" as Diana Ross calls them. I like it.

Lu - I believe the new distinguished professors take a certain amount of joy in the knowledge that they're sticking it to me. Whether they are happy as a general principle, I cannot answer.

Echo said...

Lawyers are a happy, money-gathering bunch until they turn 40ish and discover the emptiness of their being as they enter the humbled asshole phase of their life in which they just want to get a job where they can work 40 hours because somehow they have become suckers working for money they can't spend, don't enjoy and adds nothing to their lonely, stale existence prompting them to blow the money on coke and hookers and booze and bullshit....

On the other hand, the writers I know are a semi-happy, poor bunch until they turn 40ish and discover the emptiness of their 401K as they enter the "OMG did I fuck up" phase in which they just want something more than a job where they can work 40 hours and afford the rent or mortgage because somehow along the way it never occurred to them that they would grow old without the nest egg to sustain a life-affirming, philanthropic existence with the perk of being able to blow some coin on coke and hookers and booze and bullshit...

I'd rather know Kurt Vonnegut than F. Lee Bailey...

Which Pinot Noir was it? Omg I am soo fucking tripping...

Coaster Punchman said...

Pinot Noir = Mark West. Outstanding.

Your comment is disturbing on many levels, but most because I seem to have permanently ensconced myself in both scenarios. The worst of the worst.

Echo said...

Everyone faces the same questions. It's all just a matter of perspective. You could plug just about any profession into either of those two scenarios. The upshot is that money buys you nothing, and less each day to boot! ...so why burn yourself trying to amass it?

BTW, WT is right. Now, can we please get back to ragging on Grant Miller???

Melinda June said...

Cigarette smoking will be mandatory, writers and artists will make more money than lawyers, and Republicans will require a visa to travel.

Coaster Punchman said...

Grant Miller is a vile human being, and I use the term loosely, who must be stopped.

Anonymous said...

There is an old Indian saying that says "when you live your life as a malcontent, it is like being the owl in the forest trying to drop the turtle on a frog".

Echo said...

That's the spirit, CP!!!

Anonymous said...

O.M.G. - I thought you went to GU undergrad [from reading your archives] here's the thing....You and I are the same age. I was a GU undergrad ['88] and the guy I dated [and THANK GOD did NOT marry] was too - and he went to GU Law - so please please tell me you knew this 'gint and what is he up to now? I bet he is under indictment....giggle...

Let's just say we all gave him the nickname Psycho freshman year & I still dated him. If you get this comment let me know please please please....

Sorry for the long comment!

Hugs