It's always a bad day for me when I receive the Georgetown Law alumni magazine in the mail. The one I got today was especially distressing. Not only was I subjected to the usual litany of classmates who are busy saving the world or earning millions of dollars; I was also treated to the news that Georgetown Law has ten new distinguished professors this year - eight of them younger than me.
I am not saving the world. I am not earning millions of dollars, either. And I am certainly not planning on teaching law anytime soon. The only thing my fancy education seems to have produced is an increase in the quarterly number of phone calls I get from assorted relatives making thinly veiled pleas for money.
In general, my only successes of note consist of getting through my days without shouting at my sales counterparts in the publishing company I work for, making it to the gym for a moderate workout several times a week, and getting home with nothing more important to do other than uncork a nice bottle of pinot noir.
Wait.... maybe my life is ok after all. This wine fucking kicks ass.
Sorry world, you're going to have to call someone else.
I am Coaster Punchman and you have just entered my world. I rule it with an iron fist, so if you're looking for First Amendment protection, you will not find it here. I have a now deceased crazy Chinese mother-in-law, and sometimes I wear Crocs around the house. I don't like flip-flops or Mormons. I'm also a cyberstalker by trade -- so I could look up all sorts of random shit about you if I wanted, but I probably won't because I'm pretty lazy.