Mindy recently posted a gross editorial about various airplane issues. It reminded me of an important story I need to share with my own Gentle Readers.
I used to travel by plane a lot in my work, at least once every other week. Oftentimes it was just for a night or two, which means I used a fairly small travel bag. Less often I would be gone for a week or so, prompting me to use a larger suitcase.
The night before one of these longer trips I got out my large suitcase, which hadn't been used for several months. Upon opening one of the outside pockets, I was horrified to see that I had shoved a United Airlines lunch box into the pocket and, obviously, had forgotten all about it. These lunchboxes usually contained a small meat and cheese sandwich, a bag of chips and a cookie. I had eaten hundreds of them in the course of my travels.
I gingerly carried the box into the kitchen, put it in the sink and got ready to open it, bracing myself to behold the science experiment that would likely dwell within. I plugged my nose in anticipation, just to be ultra-prepared.
Ever so gently, I lifted the cover of the box.
Inside was the small meat and cheese sandwich I had anticipated. In absolutely perfect condition.
Not one trace of mold, slime, or other evidence that the sandwich might be inedible.
I am Coaster Punchman and you have just entered my world. I rule it with an iron fist, so if you're looking for First Amendment protection, you will not find it here. I have a now deceased crazy Chinese mother-in-law, and sometimes I wear Crocs around the house. I don't like flip-flops or Mormons. I'm also a cyberstalker by trade -- so I could look up all sorts of random shit about you if I wanted, but I probably won't because I'm pretty lazy.