Monday, March 21, 2011

An Open Letter to My Tinnitus

Dear My Tinnitus,

Why have you plagued me since I was nine years old? And why are you getting worse lately? You first entered my life after I flew in an airplane for the first time when I was nine and had a bad head cold. My parents weren't flyers and didn't know this would be dangerous for me.

My ears hurt like a holy son-of-a-bitch on that flight, and from the moment we landed my ears have never stopped ringing and popping. I don't know why I never said anything to my parents about it. I guess I was just happy that I could hear at all, and that I was not in pain.

Most of the time I don't think about you, My Tinnitus. But for some reason, lately you seem louder. When I go to bed in the quiet at night I hear nothing but your steady high pitched tone and you annoy me. Nothing I do makes you go away, not even for a second.

What would my universe sound like without you, My Tinnitus? And why can't people agree on how to pronounce your name? I've heard two doctors refer to you as TINN-i-tus, whereas most others call you tinn-I-tus. Which is it?

Maybe it would be a good idea for you to go live somewhere else for a while. We need a break from each other.

Love and coasters,


Mnmom said...

How crazy-making! What do your docs say? I once flew with a double ear infection. It was so painful I almost asked the attendant for something sharp so I could pierce my eardrums myself.

SkylersDad said...

I have not had any problems like you describe, but my wife has had constant ringing ever since chemotherapy about 20 years ago.

GrizzBabe said...

I have ringing in my ears that lasts for a few minutes but then goes away. I can't imagine how insane I'd be if I had to endure that 24/7.

Coaster Punchman said...

It kind of is what it is. I'm glad I've had it my whole life (practically) because I'm so used to it that it normally doesn't bother me. Just now and again it seems to get louder, especially when I'm in deep silence. I would like to know what complete silence sounds like, but I guess I never will. There's no cure for this. But I'm grateful it's merely annoying rather than a REAL problem.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I have learned to use My My Tinnitus to my advantage when needed as my own personal white noise machine, and so focus on the ringing in my ears when I can't sleep. It puts me right out. That's probably weird.

michaelg said...

I've got some of that going on too. Remarkably it seems to have lessened a bit since I started doing acupuncture. Odd.

denial said...

Hello I'm laxophobe too, and suffered tinnitus. This is not a whistle bothers me particularly, only silence outside reminds me that the whistles are there. Es that will exacerbate the tinnitus and stress is a cause of laxophobie? .. Surely.

Acouphene Traitement

Dale said...

I hear you but thankfully not the ringing. There's something magical about complete silence although it's tough to find anywhere. Maybe try the acupuncture like Michael suggested?