Although I have already graced the Internets with my list of 100 things, I've been tagged by our friend Megan with a request to post five more things you don't know about me. I think for fun I will make this a game of Gross Tag, where I have to post the five grossest memories I can come up with.
1. When I was a kid, my dog Amos used to take enormous dumps. My friend Jenny and I would walk him together and watch him take his dumps because at the end, this little drop of white substance would come out of his butt. We were fascinated by what we called "the little white thing." One time we were eating vanilla ice cream out of bowls and Jenny said "what if this was a bowlful of those little white things?"
2. One time my college roommate and I decided to egg our other roommate while he was taking a shower. He got mad, but it was funny. Unfortunately, the eggs we used were rotten, which caused the smell to be extra nasty. After my roommate got out of the shower, I felt guilty and decided to clean up the mess for him. So I got down on my hands & knees to wipe up the rotten eggs, which by that time were mixed with all sorts of soap scum and body hair. It was so gross that it made me throw up in the shower. Then I had to clean that up, too.
3. My mom got a blood clot just under the surface of the skin of her leg. We didn't know what it was, since it just looked like a big red blotch. But she was in tremendous pain, so we took her to the emergency room. While we were in the waiting room, she said "I think it's starting to weep." "Weep?" I thought. "What the hell does that mean?" When we finally got her into an examining room, the doctor removed her pants and saw that the red blotch had burst open to ooze all sorts of blood and puss. Every single medical professional who entered the room winced when they first saw it. You know it's bad when the doctors are wincing.
4. When my cat Betty was just a kitten, I discovered she loved the taste of ear wax - I had been itching my ear with my finger, and when I was done she started licking my finger voraciously. You had to be careful not to leave your ears exposed around her or she'd go after you like a bear to honey. Several times I woke up to find her tongue halfway down my ear canal.
5. One time on the way to work my eye started itching really badly. It felt like something was trapped in it, but no amount of blinking or rubbing seemed to help. Finally, when I got to work, I went into the bathroom to examine myself in the mirror. I pulled open my lower eyelid and discovered a live bug, about the size of a flea, crawling around inside my eyelid. Lovely.
That's about it for tonight. I now tag all of you to post your grossest memories.
I am Coaster Punchman and you have just entered my world. I rule it with an iron fist, so if you're looking for First Amendment protection, you will not find it here. I have a now deceased crazy Chinese mother-in-law, and sometimes I wear Crocs around the house. I don't like flip-flops or Mormons. I'm also a cyberstalker by trade -- so I could look up all sorts of random shit about you if I wanted, but I probably won't because I'm pretty lazy.