Showing posts sorted by relevance for query kristians. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query kristians. Sort by date Show all posts

Monday, July 23, 2007

Tammy Faye 1942-2007

Tammy Faye in one of her prettier moments

When Dale first told me that Tammy Faye was going to do a live interview on Larry King while she was very sick, I laughed and made some kind of joke about her clown makeup.

Today I decided to YouTube her and watch the interview, which as it turns out took place less than 24 hours before she died.


Oh my God, am I a mess.


Let's just say that if I wore Tammy Faye's flavor of eye makeup, I'd have black streaks a mile long down my entire face.


I've always considered myself a reasonably good judge of character. Although I'm sure it's mostly just an "opposites attract" kind of thing, I usually feel drawn to good people. I've never met Tammy Faye in person, but I've always kind of liked her - mainly because she comes across as so genuine. Satan himself would probably have grown tired of faking all that emotion over the years.

Now as every Gentle Reader of this blog surely knows, I derive a substantial amount of enjoyment in poking fun at Kristians (see the footnote to this post for a definition of that term.) But despite the fact that Tammy spent too much of her life in bed with the Kristians, namely her ex-husband Jim Bakker, I don't think she was much of one herself.

For one, she didn't hate fags and dykes nearly enough to be a Kristian. Even way back during her televangelist days in the 1980s, she asked her viewers to stop picking on the gays and urged people to start showing some sympathy and compassion. Tammy even hosted people with AIDS on the PTL show and encouraged Kristians to pray for the sick. ("Sick" as in having a physical disease, not "sick" in the Ted Haggard sense of the word.)

Further, Tammy later developed close friendships with several gay men and even co-hosted a TV talk show with one for a short while. When asked by one of Larry King's viewers why she had chosen to embrace gay people, she replied that they were the ones who showed her the most support during her lowest periods, and that she would always love them for it.

(Ok, so she didn't realize most of this "support" came from the throngs of drag queens and fashionistas out to mock her criminal sense of style. But that's all water under the bridge.)

In short, Tammy Faye was a nice lady. Yes, she was flawed. Yes, she got mixed up with the wrong people for much of her life. Yes, she made a lot of terrible mistakes, some of them bordering on the felonious. Yes, she could have done more to relieve suffering as a devout Christian might be wont to do. And yes, she seemingly acquired her make-up application skills directly from an overfed court jester.


But through it all, she was nice. And that has to count for something. A lot, if you ask me.


Even though Tammy Faye aligned herself with Kristians for too many years, I believe she was always a Christian because she concerned herself with such novel concepts as compassion, trust in the Lord, and the love of Christ. Those are the kinds of things Tammy Faye talked about when discussing her faith. Unlike too many of her Kristian cohorts, she searched for ways to practice her religion without obsessing over whose dick belongs where.

Just think what the world would be like if every Kristian decided to take Tammy Faye's approach while preaching the Gospel.


Rest in peace, Tammy Faye.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Happy Newhanakwanzmas!


I like Christmas as much as the next guy. I also appreciate the fact that the vast majority of the traditions and symbols we use during our end of year celebration have their roots in various forms of paganism, and have very little to do with the birth of Jesus.


What we now call the "Christmas Tree" was originally used by Germanic pagan tribes during their winter solstice celebrations, which occurred during the darkest time of year, now know as the end of December. Other traditional "Christmas" symbols such as the yule log, Christmas ham and others derive from similar origins.


As Christianity spread northward and started to engulf the pagan tribes, one of the bargaining chips in the whole conversion process was that these winter solstice symbols and celebrations would remain, just with a new "Christian" angle.


So, on a personal level, I have no beef with us wishing each other a "Merry Christmas" since in my mind all this stuff is just American tradition that really has very little to do with Christianity. On the other hand, can I just say that I am SICK of all these jackasses who talk non-stop with their verbal diarrhea about "the death of Christmas?"


These are those poor souls, those poor Kristians who feel oppressed when people have the audacity to wish them "Seasons' Greetings" or "Happy Holidays" instead of a hearty old "Merry Christmas."


Poor, poor Kristians. It must be just terrible for you that large segments of our society still view your sacred holiday as a symbol of oppression, not to mention outright genocide. Those damn Holocaust survivors and their families should just get over it and suck it up when Christmas is constantly thrust in their faces, using their tax dollars to finance manger scenes on public property.


Or those silly Indians (or "Native Americans" as they like to be called) who STILL complain that they were being massacred by the thousands while the Europeans simultaneously shoved Christianity down their throats. (Just doing them a favor in attempting to save their souls, I know, but still.) And I won't even talk about those damn African slaves and their descendants. Christ was the best thing ever to happen to them, chains and all!


I have a message for you Kristians who are so fed up with having your holiday diluted by all these "politically correct" kinds of people who are trying to be sensitive to groups who have suffered great injustices at the hands of Kristians throughout the ages. Go and have yourselves a merry little Christmas. I certainly will.


As far as I'm concerned, you can wish the entire world a "Merry Christmas" if you really want to. If someone acts offended at these seemingly innocuous words, you are free to apologize and/or walk away. But PLEASE, whatever else happens, just do us all a huge favor and shut the fuck up about your so-called "oppression."


As you are crying real tears over your lonely, neglected manger scenes, may I remind you of the wise words once shared with us on this very blog by the immortal Vikkitikkitavi?


To take the attitude that you are beleaguered members of a disenfranchised sect is neither attractive nor accurate.


Ho! Ho! Ho! and Merry Christmas!

Amen.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Kristians of the Korn


The other night I went with George and our friend Oddrun to see Jesus Camp, a new documentary that explores the methods used by extreme Kristians* to indoctrinate their young children.

I want you all to go watch this movie immediately. However, I need to provide a disclaimer: there is not a single reader of this blog, or at least no reader I have interacted with, who will not be shocked and horrified by this film. I’m talking about bone chilling, spine tingling fear of what is happening on the screen in front of you. Just remember, Gentle Readers, this is the price we pay for opening our eyes to what is going on in the US. It is not pretty.

Although I have long been fascinated by the whole
Christian vs. Kristian phenomenon, this documentary was especially difficult to watch. I cringed almost the entire two hours we spent in the theater. And poor Oddrun. Whenever I looked over at her, she had her hand firmly cemented over her mouth – probably for fear that she would lose her lunch.

But the reaction-award of the evening goes to our beloved George. While Oddrun and I were squirming in our seats, feeling like we might need to leave the theater, George sat there in stony silence, his face pale and expressionless. At one point I leaned over and asked if he was OK.

“No,” he replied, whispering.

“I’m sorry. Is this just too much for you?”

“Yes.”

“It’s just so depressing, right?”

“No.”

“Oh. Well, do you feel sick or something?” I felt his forehead.

“No.”

“Well what is it, then?” I asked.

His deadpan reply:


“I thought we were seeing a movie about kids who go to church. You didn’t tell me it was 'The Making of
Children of the Corn.'”


I started giggling and could not stop for the next twenty minutes. Kind of ruined the end of the film for me, but it was the funniest thing he’s said to me in our nine years together. He deserves some credit for that.




*Glossary for new CPW members:

Christian (noun): One who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ. Example: “Now that CP sure behaves like a good Christian! He helps the poor and feeds the hungry!”

Kristian (noun): A crazy ass religious fanatic who claims to be Christian but whose words, actions and beliefs bear no resemblance to anything even remotely related to Jesus Christ. Example: “To hell with the hungry! Let God take care of them! Us Kristians are gunna go hang us sum Christ-killers & homosexuals! Or at least make sure they cain’t get no health insurance. Yee haw!”

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Thinking Bloggers



I recently received the horrifying news that I actually made somebody think. Who on earth would dare to express such an insulting opinion of me and this disgusting collection of drivel that I call a blog?

Why, our Brit friend the Freelance Cynic, that's who. He done gone and nominated me for a Thinking Blogger Award.

Here's how it works: I am to discuss and link to five other blogs that make me think, and ask them to do the same. Exact rules are reprinted at the bottom of this post.

With that, we at CPW hereby nominate the following five blogs, presented in alphabetical order, for a Thinking Blogger Award. Four out of these five bloggers make me think so hard that I end up copying their ideas. Except for Creepy, who simply causes me to think about his subconscious homoerotic fantasies of Shrek.



THE WINNERS:

All the Way from Oy to Vey

Our pal Katie Schwartz and I remain kindred spirits in our compulsion to take cheap shots at Kristians, although many of Katie's posts on that topic and others compel me to think as well. At times I even post long commentary of my own on Katie's blog, most of which is welcome. I hope. Oh, and I have copied Katie by joining in on the fun on her emails to Lisa Whelchel.


Church of Lost Souls

I first linked to Creepy from Dale because the name of his blog intrigued me. Although he veers into other subjects such as work, psychotherapy and sex, the theme of his blog tends to be religion, specifically his disdain for it. I've spent a significant amount of time, at least in blog hours, pondering some of the statements he makes. I also love it that one of his closest friends is a Jehovah's Witness. Although I'm not sure how his discussions of him are supposed to be homoerotic as someone stated in a recent blog-comment bitch fight.


Eclectic Tales

Old Lady makes me think so much that occasionally I have to stop posting comments on her blog in favor of writing my own posts about her ideas. She writes about everyday life subjects in the sort of captivating manner that illustrates how fact is indeed stranger than fiction.


In Her Shell (The Wonderturtle)

I began copying Wonderturtle from the very first post of hers that I read. I'd like to try to be original at least, but she's just too good. I can't help myself sometimes.


Passion of the Dale

I'm beginning to think that Dale is everyone's favorite blogger, although I've heard he has a pay-for-play policy that may tie into that somehow. In any event, Dale obviously causes me to think because I regularly find it necessary to steal from him. This I've done too many times to count, but I believe this may have been the first instance of that.



Here are the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ and a link to the post that you wrote.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Oh, dear


I was curious enough that I had to start exploring the Willie Aames Chrisitan vs. Kristian question right away.

While after a cursory research session I haven't found a definitive statement on Willie's opinion on Christ-killers and homosexuals, I did discover that he has spent the last decade in Kansas (home of that brilliant anti-evolutionary school board!) playing "Bibleman," the Kristian Right Wing's answer to Archie Comics!

While not yet a fatal blow to Willie's reputation within the confines of CPW, it's not good news to see that he's in bed with these people.

This blog points out some of the more disturbing aspects of the whole Bibleman phenomenon: most of the villains are either stereotypically Jewish or gay. And they are all most certainly Liberal!

Come back to the five-and-dime, Willie Aames. You can still be a Christian instead of a Kristian without shooting up.

And for those of you who are Christian but attend church with Kristians, would you please start challenging these people from within their own ranks and ask them to concentrate on feeding the poor instead of tormenting the rest of us? Thanks.


Monday, August 28, 2006

Reading Tag


I was honored to be tagged by Old Lady to answer the following questions about books that have been important to me.

I have read a lot of books in my life. Some of those books, especially ones from my younger years, I loved so much that I read them again and again. But now that I am faced with the task of summarizing how some of these books have moved me, I feel almost frozen. I used to keep a written list of every book I had ever read, but it got destroyed when our apartment was flooded with heating oil. So now I have only my memory.

I also have a new policy of not owning books. I have moved many times as an adult, and have discovered just how costly it is to move even one box of books. Plus, I am a huge believer in the public library, and go there several times a month to check things out. Most modern libraries have web-based reserve and renewal capabilities which, when coupled with my daily access to a computer with auto calendar programs such as Outlook, make it easy not to miss due dates.

Once George and I settle down into a house that we plan to call “ours” for the duration, perhaps I will begin to rebuild a personal library. I look forward to that.

On with the questions: I reserve the right to make edits, additions and deletions in future blog entries. These current answers reflect only the mood of a CP on a lazy Saturday morning of cat-sitting at Oddrun’s.


A book that has changed your life
This was probably the most difficult question of the bunch. I have had many emotional experiences while reading – being moved to tears, anger, extreme empathy and understanding, or unparalleled laughter. I can’t even remember half the books that did any of these things to me, so instead I decided to tell you about my reading during a period of my life when I decided to read one thing and one thing only: gay fiction.

I went through an extreme identity crisis when I graduated from college in 1988. I had decided during my last two years of college that I wanted to date men exclusively for a while, but after I graduated I found that I hardly knew any gay people and that I had no idea how to define myself as a gay person. All my friends were straight, and I didn’t really get along with any of the gay guys I was meeting. Meanwhile, AIDS was busy killing off the older part of the gay community in the late 1980s, which did not exactly create a warm and friendly environment in which to be welcomed. Everyone was scared shitless.

The only gay people close to being my “friends” were a poisonous, odious ex-boyfriend who continued to try to get into my pants and who would alternately swear at me and pout when I wouldn’t put out; and an extremely queeny waiter I worked with who wore eyeliner and cried when I turned down his offer to go on a date with him.

In short, I just didn’t know what to do or how to fit in. So I sunk into a deep depression, and when I wasn’t waiting tables at night, I would sit home all day, smoking cigarettes and reading all the gay fiction I could find at the Minneapolis Public Library. I decided to read fiction because all the non-fiction I could find on the topic was either stupid or tragic. I figured that by reading fiction, I might get into the hearts and minds of some of the people who were supposed to be like me.

Although I would not be able to describe for you what I learned specifically from each book, these authors made me feel like I was not alone. I got some of the inside scoop on what these gay boys and men were up to, the kinds of thoughts they had, what their social and romantic lives were like, the kinds of things they did with their friends, the language they used, how they dealt with social oppression, and more.

Some of my favorite authors and books from this era were Edmund White (A Boy’s Own Story, The Beautiful Room is Empty), David Leavitt (Equal Affections, Family Dancing), Ethan Mordden (I’ve a Feeling We’re Not in Kansas Anymore, Buddies, Everybody Loves You), John Fox (The Boys on the Rock), Alan Hollinghurst (The Swimming Pool Libraries), Stephen McCauley (The Object of My Affection), and the Men on Men anthologies edited by David Bergman and George Stambolian.

A book that you have read more than once
I have a bunch of these. Of course, I read all my childhood favorites dozens of times: Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh; all of Madeleine L’Engle’s books (although Ms. L’Engle denies that any of her books were purposely designed to be for “children” or “adults”); all of Keith Robertson’s books about a geeky kid named Henry Reed; all of Beverly Cleary’s stuff; and all of John D. Fitzgerald’s works, which marked the beginning of my Mormon fascination.

As an adult I have enjoyed multiple readings of The Secret History by Donna Tartt. The suspense part of this book was fun, but being a foreign language junkie, I also could not help but be drawn into the students’ obsession with ancient Greek.

The Object of My Affection by Stephen McCauley. This book is absolutely nothing like the movie. It is a wonderful story of a friendship between a gay guy and a straight girl. I felt the movie trivialized and cheapened the story by making Jennifer Aniston fall hopelessly and pathetically in love with the protagonist, which, while there is slight hint of that in the book, is far from the focal point of the story. This book is hilarious, wonderfully written, and full of great characters and dialogue. It will make you laugh heartily and weep gently. Props to Lulu for introducing this into my repertoire.

The Rebel Angels by Robertson Davies is one I have read three times and plan to fit it in at least twice more before I die. Thanks to Lulu, I am an absolute Davies fanatic. I have read everything he’s written and actually cried when I heard about his death, which meant the end of his literary career. The Rebel Angels is, in my opinion, the bawdiest, funniest and sickest book he wrote. Rabelais was clearly one of Davies’ heroes, and it certainly shows in this novel.

A book that makes you laugh
The Rebel Angels by Robertson Davies – see above.

Also A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. Mindy June turned me on to this one. I laughed so hard while reading this on a plane that I actually threw the book three feet in front of me. Luckily, I was seated in bulkhead. A flight attendant stopped over to make sure I was OK. In my adult years I have become a devotee of the protagonist’s unique office filing system, which consists of letting papers pile up on top of your filing cabinet for several months, at which point you throw them in the trash.

A book that made you cry
The Crosswicks Journals by Madeleine L’Engle. I read this series of four books during one of my depressed periods. She is such an honorable and good person that I feel hope for humanity reading anything she writes. I cyberstalked her and have her address and phone number in Manhattan. I keep meaning to write her a fan letter to tell her how much she has meant to me over the years.

A book you wish you had written
The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I think this book would have been even more of a smash hit if I had written it. I know just as well as these gals how to be a passive-aggressive bitch. Sure, you can lure men into your lair with your little tricks until you finally get them to pop the question. And then it’s the big unveiling! What’s not to like about that?

A book you wish had never been written
What Kristians like to refer to as “The Holy Bible.” The whole idea of this “book” just pisses me off. For one, it’s not a “book.” It’s a series of ancient writings, written by people who either themselves claimed to be transcribing the “word of God” directly onto parchment, or who were said later by others to have done so. Furthermore, it is well documented that there were hundreds of other contemporaneous writings that were at one point considered worthy of inclusion in this “sacred text” but, for various social and political reasons, were not included. Furthermore, I find repugnant the idea that millions of people slavishly devote themselves to following, to the exclusion of all other evidence and good sense, every idea expressed in a group of ancient writings whose translations, motivations and very authorship are dubious, at best.

A book you are currently reading
Lulu and many of her commenters, including me, cannot commit to reading one book at a time. In keeping with this policy, I am currently reading the following five books, although there may be one or two that I have forgotten about.

The Clumsiest People in Europe, edited by Todd Pruzan. This book is a collection of “travel” writings by a Mrs. Favel Lee Mortimer, who lived in England during the mid-nineteenth century. She wrote “travel” guides about foreign countries, even though she herself left England only twice, and never visited the majority of the countries she wrote about. The best part is that she had virtually nothing nice to say about any of them. For example, she says of the people of Ireland: “The religion they teach is called the Roman Catholic religion. It is a kind of Christian religion, but it is a very bad kind.” And of Turkey: “The Turks are so grave that they look wise. But how can lazy people really be wise?”

Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner. I’m convinced this book will change my life. Be prepared.

The Brethren by Bob Woodward. A behind the scenes look at the Supreme Court during the Burger years. Fascinating. I don’t know why I don’t just plow through it and finish it, because I’m really enjoying it. I love how childish these old men are, and all the little playground games they engage in. People never grow up, a fact I love. Props to Sparky for “lending” it to me. (I actually took it without permission and then asked forgiveness. Not a bad way to go about life.)

Yes Man by Danny Wallace. Min left this at my house. It’s about some idiot in England who meets some Swami on a bus who tells him to say “yes” more. So he institutes a new policy where he can only answer “yes” to yes/no questions. Hilarity ensues, or so I hope because I’m not very far into it yet. But it sounds like the kind of thing I would do, so I hope everything turns out OK.

Beverly Hills 90210 (in Norwegian) by Mel Tilden. Brandon Walsh fortalte sin søster Brenda at han hadde aldri i sitt liv sett sÃ¥ mange Porscher, BMW’er, Mercedeser og Corvetter samlet pÃ¥ et sted!

A book you have been meaning to read
How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship and Musical Theater
by Marc Acito. Once again, props to Lu.

Now tag 5 people
Lulu
Mindy June
Tenacious-S
Wonderturtle
Echo