Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Kristians of the Korn
The other night I went with George and our friend Oddrun to see Jesus Camp, a new documentary that explores the methods used by extreme Kristians* to indoctrinate their young children.
I want you all to go watch this movie immediately. However, I need to provide a disclaimer: there is not a single reader of this blog, or at least no reader I have interacted with, who will not be shocked and horrified by this film. I’m talking about bone chilling, spine tingling fear of what is happening on the screen in front of you. Just remember, Gentle Readers, this is the price we pay for opening our eyes to what is going on in the US. It is not pretty.
Although I have long been fascinated by the whole Christian vs. Kristian phenomenon, this documentary was especially difficult to watch. I cringed almost the entire two hours we spent in the theater. And poor Oddrun. Whenever I looked over at her, she had her hand firmly cemented over her mouth – probably for fear that she would lose her lunch.
But the reaction-award of the evening goes to our beloved George. While Oddrun and I were squirming in our seats, feeling like we might need to leave the theater, George sat there in stony silence, his face pale and expressionless. At one point I leaned over and asked if he was OK.
“No,” he replied, whispering.
“I’m sorry. Is this just too much for you?”
“It’s just so depressing, right?”
“Oh. Well, do you feel sick or something?” I felt his forehead.
“Well what is it, then?” I asked.
His deadpan reply:
“I thought we were seeing a movie about kids who go to church. You didn’t tell me it was 'The Making of Children of the Corn.'”
I started giggling and could not stop for the next twenty minutes. Kind of ruined the end of the film for me, but it was the funniest thing he’s said to me in our nine years together. He deserves some credit for that.
*Glossary for new CPW members:
Christian (noun): One who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ. Example: “Now that CP sure behaves like a good Christian! He helps the poor and feeds the hungry!”
Kristian (noun): A crazy ass religious fanatic who claims to be Christian but whose words, actions and beliefs bear no resemblance to anything even remotely related to Jesus Christ. Example: “To hell with the hungry! Let God take care of them! Us Kristians are gunna go hang us sum Christ-killers & homosexuals! Or at least make sure they cain’t get no health insurance. Yee haw!”