And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Today's Mormon lesson is on the whiteness of Jesus and His true followers! The Mormons originally taught that dark skinned people had something wrong with them spiritually. The Native Americans had strayed from God a few thousand years ago, resulting in their being given red skin. (Hmmm, red, maybe like SATAN?)
I'm not sure what it was specifically the Mormons taught about blacks, but it wasn't pretty. In fact, black people didn't get to hold the priesthood in Mormondom until 1977.
Yes, that would be 1977, folks.
And then blacks only got to start holding the priesthood in 1977 because the leader of the church, also known to Mormons as The Prophet, gets to make up the rules as he goes. The Mormons refer to this as the Prophet having a "revelation," but come on, who are we kidding here?
Some of you may tell me that what counts is that they got it right in the end! Shouldn't we be nicer to them because they finally came around?
Well, since I am currently The Prophet of CPW, I get to make up the rules of CPW as I go! The answer to your question, Gentle Readers, is NO. If your church is so fucking stupid that it took you until 1977 to start letting blacks in, you have no reason to be here. You need to go away.
And that's despite the Celestial Underwear.