Monday, July 10, 2006

To spank or not to spank?


Old Lady, one of our new blogging friends, posted an article about spanking. Several things about this article struck me, so rather than just posting a lengthy comment on her blog, I decided to move the discussion over here to CPW, where it really belongs. One of our most important pastimes at CPW is to pontificate on how children should be raised. I really think it's best that we barren folk should make these decisions. After all, we're more objective.

I've always felt that parents hitting their kids in any way except for in a quick, swift fit of anger seems kind of sick. I think it's good for kids to learn that certain behavior pisses people off, and that it's not the worst thing in the world for Mommy to haul off and whack Junior across the butt after he spills her martini while trying to grab the lit cigarette from her hand. A kid like that needs to learn to behave.

But Old Lady talks about her parents having debates regarding spanking techniques. To use a brush or not use a brush? When to spank and when not to spank? And then she talks about how her mother actually persuaded her father to use his hand when spanking his daughter.

Persuaded? What the hell kind of discussion was this?

"Oh my, I've bruised the bottom of our little Princess! Honey, I think we should reconsider using a brush or other blunt instrument when spanking her from now on. Just look what I did."

"Wow sweetie, that's some welt! How did you do that using only a brush? What were you thinking?"

"To be honest, I don't even recall. I guess it's all water under the bridge at this point. But just be careful with her - she has very tender skin, and we wouldn't want the neighbors getting the wrong idea. Just use your hand on her from now on. Now her brothers on the other hand...."

"Dear, I understand what you mean - but my hand? My bare hand? I don't know if I could do that. It doesn't seem, well, very manly. Can't we discuss this?"

"Darling, you know that you are all the man I'll ever want or need. But I must be firm about this. No more brushes, paddles, belts or razor straps on this little girl. The firm hand of a father is really what she needs most. Have I made myself clear on this?"

"Well dear, I suppose so."

"Wonderful. I'm so glad you understand. Now, what was it that our son did just a short while ago that will require the paddle? Are we going bare butt or underwear on this one?"


Sorry Old Lady, but that story kind of gave me the heebies.

Why don't we just bring corporal punishment back to the schools, where it belongs?

17 comments:

Dale said...

Uh oh, I feel a blog post coming on myself. I think it'll be about something completely unrelated though. Or maybe not. Maybe I should be working? Yes, that's it.

Old Lady said...

Oh God, you made my day! I needed a laugh. Whoo my stomach hurts! I agree with everything you say.

Tenacious S said...

I was spanked as a kid (no implement). I can tell you that I did not like it one bit. I also remember my dad threatening to spank me when I was about 14 and I told him I'd hit him if he hit me. I got grounded instead.

Coaster Punchman said...

It's interesting you note the threat to hit back. I used to dream of producing an after school special about two abused boys who grow to be teenagers and then kick the shit out of their abusive parents one day. (Of course, Meredith Baxter would play the mother.) Know anyone I can send a spec script to?

OL: glad you laughed. Upon further reflection I was thinking maybe I'd sent you into therapy.

Melinda June said...

CP, that script has already been written. Don't you remember the tv movie about the Menendez brothers?

Coaster Punchman said...

They were hacks. Plus, I'm not talking about murder. I'm talking about a serious kick in the ass.

Creepy said...

I think when discussing 'spanking techniques' you should be referring to adult fun.

When I was 18 Mom went to smack me in the face and I caught her wrist. I told her that I was an adult and as such there would be no more smacking taking place in this relationship. That was the end of that.

But a rotten little kid definitely deserves one. Although the paddling I was given in 2nd grade with the sadistic 'board of education' was completely over the line. A bare hand is enough.

lulu said...

I too was hoping for "adult fun".

jin said...

I've never believed in spanking my dogs (boy, that sounds pervy!) but there are some brat kids out there that deserve a good swat!!!

Case in point: here's a guy who works in a Family Dollar store, occasionally he writes about this kid he calls 'Chewbacca' that's an absolute monster.
The Slap

Coaster Punchman said...

Creepy, nice work - maybe I can base one of my characters on you.

Lu, this is a family oriented blog. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth of yours?

Jin, that post is outstanding. And that's just the kind of swift retribution I'm talking about. Although she did give him several warnings, which is admirable. I like how she made him bleed and didn't fawn all over it - he certainly didn't deserve it. What a horrendous child.

Melinda June said...

I don't really have an opinion on the whole spanking thing, but can I just say that that photo cracks me right up?

Coaster Punchman said...

Do you think those boys should be spanked?

Melinda June said...

Not really. It's not like they took a dump on the table.

jin said...

Glad you liked it Melinda!!!

Funny thing about that post...I just deleted his bookmark recently because he tends to post a lot of 'republican type' writings. When I saw cp's post I knew I HAD to find that link again!!! LOL.

Melinda June said...

Rather than spanking them, these boys should be commended for their good penmanship and spelling.

Besides. They're probably just repeating something they've heard their mommy say. In my book, you can't spank if they learn it from you.

Poor George said...

We mustn't forget to haul off and smack/spank/paddle any adults who are caught in the act of regression, unfortunately however, this may facilitate a law suit. Dear God, we need help...

lulu said...

but george, you have a highly trained legal mind living right there in the house with you. Make CP put that degree to work.