Sunday, July 16, 2006
CPW Confessional Vol. 5: Fruitarian
I'm thinking of becoming a fruitarian. Fruitarians eat only what would fall from a tree or plant. I'm pretty sure there's a subset of fruitarians who eat only what actually has fallen from a tree or plant - like it would be against nature, or maybe mean to the tree, to pick the fruit before it's ready to fall.
That might be a little hard to manage in Brooklyn.
I think I'd be a really good fruitarian. I love nuts and fruits. So delicious, and healthy too! But mostly I'd be really good at the self righteous part. That's the key here. I would totally scorn my vegetarian and vegan friends.
"Oh, I see you're having a salad. Well, that must be nice for you. I hope you realize an entire plant had to die for you to have that salad. Do you ever wonder what it must feel like to be yanked from the ground by your ROOTS? But don't let that stop you. You just go on and enjoy yourself."
I wonder if there's a branch of fruitarianism that allows Lulu's Pizza?