I've been tag-teamed! (Wait, that didn't come out right...)

1) Would you bungee jump? No. In fact, hell no.

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be? Direct pornographic movies. In color.

3) Your favorite fictional animal? Probably Ralph, the Mouse on the Motorcycle. Or maybe the Cheshire cat.

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh? Mindy, Lulu and Michael J. (who is too important to read this blog.)

5) When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up? I had my head in my ass when I was 12. Being an adult seemed too far off to worry about such things.

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Mama Gin imitations. She once told me to come upstairs to get the laundry out of the dryer because she wanted to go to bed. She kept saying “I old. I sleeping.” So whenever I’m sleepy (as I am when I first wake up) I usually say “I sleeping.”

7) Have you ever gone to therapy? None of your damn business.

8) If you could have one super power what would it be? I always envied Samantha Stevens. So I guess I’d be a warlock, except I wouldn't let my husband stop me from using my awesome powers. I’m not sure if that counts as "one" magic power, though.

Another fantasy I have is that I could make the world go in slow motion so that I'd be really good at tennis. But then I always think that someone would figure out what I’m doing, and expose me as a cheater to the rest of the universe. I can’t even have fun in my fantasies.

9) Your favorite cartoon character?

Stimpy.

10) Do you go to church? Not as often as I imagine I would like to. It turns out that I like the idea of being religious more than I like being religious. I have a real commitment problem with that stuff.

11) What is your best childhood memory? One time I was at a party at the home of one of my dad’s music friends. I was lying on the couch, and my dad’s friend came over and started petting me like a cat. (It was completely non-creepy, and there were no bad touches. Plenty of people around, too.) I would have purred if I had the ability.

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? This question is too complicated. It goes without saying that I think everyone should have the same right to marry.

13) Do you own a gun? I think we have a staple gun somewhere in the boiler room where we keep our tools.

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? In high school I was drunk at a party, and my friend Coleen kept making me laugh so hard that I would slap her on the back. Finally she said “stop hitting me! That is not a masculine thing to do!” Then I felt shame.

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Many times, more as part of a group than as a soloist.

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I always check for cleft palates and harelips.

17) What is your biggest mistake? Worrying too much about money when I was fresh out of college. For as little money as I made at first, I should have just searched high and low for something really interesting to do, even if it paid minimum wage starting out.

18) Say something totally random about yourself. I have a few Tourettes-like behaviors that are starting to alarm me. Lately I’ve been doing the Peewee Herman spaz hands whenever I’m working in the kitchen. I have no idea why I do that.

19) Has anyone ever said that you looked like a celebrity?

In high school, people said I looked like Matt Dillon.

In college, I became Ivan Lendl.

More recently, a friend commented that Tobey Maguire's mouth and chin remind her of me.

Personally, I think that from certain angles I resemble Abigail, the Fugitive Kitty (who is a celebrity by virtue of her appearance on Stuff On My Cat.)

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? This guy once drove to my house in West Hollywood at five in morning right after the Northridge earthquake, to make sure I was OK. That was really sweet. But then he ruined it about half an hour later by taking his breakfast fork, which was covered with yolk from the egg he was eating, and dipping it right into my friend’s jar of fancy strawberry preserves. WTF?

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Oddly enough, yes, I do.

I tag: My sister. Tumuli. And I think it's time we hear from the Molecular Turtle.