I'm a Sick F*ck is a new CPW series wherein I will share the reasons my Gentle Readers may want to consider having me committed. In fact, I might even end each entry in this series with the words "Perhaps I should be committed."
This morning I had a dream. I was at work in a new office, and needed to use the restroom. I asked someone where it was, and was given a series of confusing directions that took me down various hallways. I kept asking people along the way, until finally I was directed into the lobby of what looked like a restaurant. I saw the door that said MEN and, relieved, stepped in to do my business.
This men's room looked like a small, well appointed apartment with a kitchen and a long dining table. The table was fully set, with dinner plates and glass soup bowls. There was a family sitting and enjoying a meal at one end of the table.
I walked up to the other end of the table and started peeing into one of the soup bowls.
I was thinking "boy, this is embarrassing, having to pee in front of this entire family."
Then, after I left, I started thinking about what I had done. I felt really embarrassed because I suspected I may have been muttering to myself while I was peeing. I do that sometimes.
I am Coaster Punchman and you have just entered my world. I rule it with an iron fist, so if you're looking for First Amendment protection, you will not find it here. I have a now deceased crazy Chinese mother-in-law, and sometimes I wear Crocs around the house. I don't like flip-flops or Mormons. I'm also a cyberstalker by trade -- so I could look up all sorts of random shit about you if I wanted, but I probably won't because I'm pretty lazy.