Sunday, February 04, 2007

Tales of a Snubbing and Other Adventures

I've missed you, Gentle Readers!

My attendance was required at a sales conference in Phoenix this week, and I have just now returned to New York. I could not have gotten out of there fast enough. I can't stand those things.

The following events transpired during my trip:

* I was ignored by an old "friend" whom I helped train back in 1995. He has become a manager in a different division, which apparently makes him too important to talk to me now. Unfortunately for him, he is probably unaware of my recent promotion to Strategic Sales Executive. His ignorance will likely prove tragic for him as I consolidate my new power and set my vindictive gaze upon him. His won't be the first career I've destroyed, and certainly will not be the last. My inner Amanda is already sharpening her claws.

* After said snubbing, I informed another friend of my new-found hatred for the snubber. She looked at me as if I'd had too much wine and was on the way to losing control, both of which may have been true.

* During a company banquet I was declared to be one of the two most attractive sales professionals in my division by one of our drunken sales reps. At first I was pleased, but then spotted a 300+ lb. man completely disrobing at his table while some other colleagues laughed and egged him on. He was really hairy, too. I decided not to take the compliment to heart.

* I cornered my old boss at an awards dinner and demanded a $5,000 payout from a sales contest that my old territory won shortly after I left the territory for a different job within the company. She told me to go fuck myself, albeit in slightly nicer language.

* I sucked up to several bigwigs, one from California, in hopes that he may one day agree to hire me. I also gushed compliments at our new Senior Vice President, partly because I'm nice, partly because I'm a suck-up and partly because he was kind of cute and charming.

* I reminded myself not to repeat George's comments about the Chinese being cheap to my work colleagues. I only partially succeeded at this.

So you see I've been busy, Gentle Readers. But I'm glad to be back here with you.



Dale said...

Drunkeness, nudity and sucking up. You work hard for the money! And you're a hero for our times CP!

Tenacious S said...

Oh, the humanity! You leave a wake of destroyed and crumpled human lives behind you. Feel better? Damn it's cold here!

Dino aka Katy said...

well I can not understand why you wouldn't want to be at a meeting that offers all that I mean a 300+ lbs guy disrobing????

Eebie said...

Bravo on the promotion. If you want the $5k you'll have to get to the person that is boss where the two hirearchies (old and new) meet.

And damn it be nasty to the snubber. One time, harsh, pointant and painfully vindictive. Humiliating too if you manage that but not too public, just humiliating infront of his peers and subordinates but not his boss. Then once the damage is done, let him know it's done and what is done is done. I want to read the blog on that one.

I've been away and missed your stuff; great to catch up.

Bubs said...

Yeah baby! Nudity, alchohol, office intrigue...I like this bold new territory you're in.

lulu said...

I do love it when you channel your inner bitch.

"jew" "girl" said...

going to a sales conference with you has to be a damn riot.

glad you're back, amanda!

Nurse Ratchet said...

Spoken like a true relative :) I love ya, Thomas!!! I think Hockey Mom should go to a conference with you!! LOL